Using only the finest fruit from the sacred Pop-Tart tree, Kellogg’s has created an entire fruit salad worth of new Pop-Tarts:
Let’s face it: we all need to get ourselves back in shape after the All-You-Can-Eat Lockdown Buffet that was 2020. Exercise is great, but like the old saying goes: you can’t out-run a year’s worth of GrubHub in one week. The best way to make long-lasting changes to your diet? Add some fruit!
Look, it’s not MY fault that all the ripest fruit in the store happen to be Pop-Tarts. I’m just out here trying my damn best like the rest of us, and my local groceries are stocked to the brims with juicy new fruit-filled Pop-Tarts. Lemons, bananas, peaches, mangoes… you name it. (That’s it, that’s all of them).
And sure, they’re flavored like dessert in a pastry that’s already dessert, but we all gotta start somewhere… GET OFF MY DAMN BACK!
Today’s review is part of a series. Today’s new fruit-flavored Pop-Tart is:
Kellogg’s Peach Cobbler Pop-Tarts
Is there any fruit that’s more under-represented and under-appreciated in mainstream junk than peach? Seriously, I can’t think of a fruit that I like more in real life that’s so absent from the inner aisles of the grocery store. You basically have gummy peach rings, and that’s it.
The new Pop-Tarts are a play on the classic peach cobbler dessert that combines a sweetened peach filling with a simple crust topping, so they should translate pretty well to Pop-Tarts.
That is, of course, if they do the filling justice.
And I’d say what they whipped up is pretty tasty! The peach filling inside the Peach Cobbler Pop-Tarts is mildly artificial, but I still find it pleasant and refreshing. Imagine the aforementioned peach gummies but with less of a sour bite. It works better as a Pop-Tart than it does a genuine peach cobbler replica.
I guess my only gripe is that outside of having a crust, there’s not much pushing it towards “peach cobbler” rather than just “peach Pop-Tarts.” I think some cinnamon would have helped wonders in that regards. You’re left with something pretty one-dimensional, although I happen to enjoy this dimension quite a bit.
Burning Questions:
- Where do peaches from? Peaches come from a can.
- Who put them there? They were put there by a man.
- Where? In a factory downtown.
Place of Purchase: Sent to me by Kellogg’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
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Way to get that song stuck in my head. I have been to that factory downtown, and there were indeed millions of peaches, but the person putting them in the can was actually a WOMAN. So, not to wax political, but The Presidents of the United States of America actually lived up to the name of their band and LIED to the American public.
Bahaahahhaha! 😂😂🤣 Now I also have that ear worm stuck in my head! Thanks I’ll be singing it for a week!