I’m not sure I could think of a better mash-up of two snacks I was most likely to be eating in a middle school cafeteria than this right here.
Unless Dunkaroos and Gushers are planning to collaborate, this has got to be it:
Smartfood Flamin’ Hot White Cheddar Popcorn
I don’t know if it’s simply because it has the word “Smart” in the name, but cafeterias in every school I attended had Smartfood White Cheddar Popcorn when I was growing up. Now I certainly wasn’t buying it because “Smartfood” is indicative of some degree of health; I was buying it because it was one of the best-tasting snacks that 50 cents could buy. In fact, it might be wise to assume it wasn’t healthy at all, since I was pushing 200 lbs. by the time 8th grade came to a close.
Another snack you’d find me eating there was Flamin’ Hot Cheetos – not because my schools offered it (they didn’t), but because my fat ass would also bring my own snacks because more snacks.
You know what definitely wasn’t smart? My Dad would occasionally return home with a bag of Burger King Whoppers after working the night shift, and I would bring one to school the next day, where it would remain in my backpack unfrigerated – mayonnaise and tomato and all – until I ate it many hours later.
Again, I was pushing 200 when I was 14 years old.
While there is no flame-grilled beef in this bag, this Smartfood Flamin’ Hot White Cheddar popcorn still hits me with all the nostalgia tingles despite being a brand new product.
It’s only fitting that I bring up my school days in this review, since Flamin’ Hot Cheetos were apparently invented by a janitor.
I would like to take this time to award him the greatest janitor of all-time.
The popcorn is as bright red as you expect it to be… appropriately Flamin’ Hot. I love that this isn’t just a Flamin’ Hot flavored popcorn by Smartfood; they also kept the white cheddar seasoning of their flagship and layered the Flamin’ Hot seasoning on top of it. This proves to be a pretty genius move that creates something unique and special.
This is truly a Tale of Two Snacks. The initial wave of flavor is distinctly Smartfood White Cheddar, then the delayed heat of Flamin’ Hot takes over. Both are represented fully and equally, sequentially. They do join in harmony somewhere in the aftermath, and it’s as if the white cheddar mellows the Flamin’ heat just enough to incite repeat snacking. Make no mistake though… this is one hot popcorn.
The white cheddar is a different kind of cheese than what’s present in Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, and therefore this earns its permanent place on shelves.
Don’t buy dumb food; buy Smartfood.
Burning Questions (GET IT?!)
- Do you have a picture of when you were that fat? No.
- Why not? Because I ate it.
- Why did you eat it? Because I ate everything.
Place of Purchase: Walmart
Rating: 8.5 out of 10
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