REVIEW: Oreo Hot Chocolate (7-Eleven)
With temperatures dropping faster than our blog traffic post-Pumpkin Spice era, ’tis the season for hot chocolate. And ’tis always the season for Oreos. Introducing the new Oreo Hot Chocolate, a new 7-Eleven exclusive beverage of which very little is known. I randomly stumbled across this thing while searching high and low for Oreo Churros, and figured that an Oreo Hot Chocolate might make a fairly decent consolation prize. At the very least, a cup of Oreo Hot Chocolate will warm me up not only through its temperature, but also through a heavy dosage of sugar that is quickly contributing to this fine jacket of excess body fat that I am currently sporting.
Here’s what we know about the new Oreo Hot Chocolate: nothing. It’s “made with Oreo,” but how? Did they dissolve Oreos into hot cocoa? Did they grind up Oreos and add milk-based ingredients to create a unique hot cocoa mix? Nobody knows, and it’s ultimately not that important as long as it tastes like Oreos. With so many companies experimenting with Hot Chocolate products in 2015, it’s somewhat shocking that Nabisco hasn’t rolled out Hot Cocoa Oreos. But this Oreo Hot Chocolate may be one of the greatest power moves of all time. I don’t know their exact involvement here, but I have to think the person responsible called the folks at Nabisco who gave the go-ahead. While everyone else is flavoring their products to taste like hot chocolate (implying that hot chocolate is already awesome), Nabisco greenlighted flavoring hot chocolate to taste like Oreos to enhance its awesomeness. It’s a subtle but mighty powerful declaration of Oreo’s chocolate dominance.
As soon as I pressed the button to dispense the Oreo Hot Chocolate, I was aggressively greeted with a scent that was decidedly Oreo. The smell was divine, and I was very tempted to just constantly push the button and shoot Oreo Juice all over the place to experience it again. I was so tempted, in fact, that I actually did do this and made a mess everywhere:
My recklessness uncovered the real secret. There are legitimate chunks of crushed up Oreo bits in the Oreo Hot Chocolate! One mystery solved. By this time, I had noticed the 7-Eleven clerk staring at me HARD as I both made a mess and then took pictures of it. The disappointed look on his face suggested that he knew I was wasting hours and hours and hours of my life working on a junk food blog. “Let me get out of here and review this in my basement,” I thought to myself. “Surely our fans will want to know about this.” (You don’t).
I’ll jump right into it. Oreo Hot Chocolate tastes like Oreos; it does! The scent is much heavier than the taste, however, so be sure to take a big whiff of it before every sip. The hot chocolate itself is solid. It’s has an artificially “rich” cocoa flavor (if that makes sense), and its mouthfeel is plenty creamy. Hot Tip related to this: Make sure you hold down that Oreo Hot Chocolate button hard until your cup is full. Do not let go and fill it in bursts to cap it just right, because the machine is going to fill your cup with lots of excess water if you go this route.
The extra creaminess of this hot chocolate helps separate it from a simple, Swiss Miss-esque hot cocoa flavor. Since Oreos are cookies & cream (and a very specific, signature cream at that), they really had to nail the creamy element to make this work. I would say they were mostly successful. The only problem is that you can make your homemade hot chocolate as creamy as you want (for example, by adding cream). The cocoa flavor itself has the appropriate bitterness to it and the sweetness is mild, so this is pretty reminiscent of the chocolate cookie wafer on the Oreo. But again; hot chocolate is always going to include a saltiness to mellow the sweetness, so the entire experience is quite familiar to hot chocolates you’ve had before. The actual Oreo bits may be what delivers that touch of Oreo flare.
The Oreo Hot Chocolate may not be the most unique, life-changing experience you’re hoping for when you see the Oreo branding. That said, they executed well enough that you won’t be able to deny its worthiness of the branding. It’s a super fun novelty item, and I would definitely buy it again. In fact, I already bought it again, so that says something right there. Part of its appeal, at least for me, is that hot chocolate carries with it a lot of sentimental feelings and childhood memories that come to mind each time you make a cup. You likely have similar emotions towards the Oreo cookie. Combine the two, and the experience is greater than the sum of its parts. As long as you’re not expecting the quality of those fancy Drinking Chocolates (and you shouldn’t because it’s 7-Eleven), you’ll be plenty satisfied. Having just finished my second cup, my heart is warm and my coat of fat is snug. Mission accomplished.
How Welcome I Am Back at 7-Eleven Rating: 3.5 out of 10
Pretentiousness of “Drinking Chocolate” Rating: Get Over Yourself out of 10
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10