Oh. My. God. YOU GUYS.

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It’s no secret by now that I spend a lot of time in the grocery store. However, it’s not blind luck that I discover hot new finds on the reg, yo. An informed search often yields best results. But every once in a while, I stumble across something that even I didn’t know I was looking for my entire life. Introducing Pillsbury Mini Pies:

Pillsbury Mini Pies

Pillsbury Mini Pies

When I spotted these Pillsbury Mini Pies, my inner fat kid started jumping up and down with out-of-breath excitement. Pies are my dessert of choice, hands down, and there are very few pies I don’t enjoy. To put it in perspective, my office celebrates each month’s birthdays with traditional birthday cake as many offices do. Since I am the only May birthday and I have a well-documented love affair with pies, we’ve designated May as the one Pie Month. Pillsbury Mini Pies are basically Hot Pockets with pie filling, which is just… Holy Fat! We will be doing three reviews as follows:

  1. Pillsbury S’mores Mini Pies (Tonight)
  2. Pillsbury Apple Cinnamon Mini Pies (Soon)
  3. Pillsbury Lava Cake Mini Pies (If I’m Not Dead)
Pillsbury S'mores Mini Pies

Unbaked Pillsbury S’mores Mini Pie

We’ll begin with the Pillsbury S’mores Mini Pie because it’s a S’mores Mini Pie. To make these things, you simply bake at 400 degrees for 12-15 minutes on an ungreased baking sheet. Pillsbury S’mores Mini Pies are filled with chocolate and marshmallow, and includes a chocolate icing packet to drizzle on top. While we wait, let’s read the nutritional information to see how much we should hate ourselves. Believe it or not, you could do a lot worse than these Pillsbury Mini Pies. Though they’re quite small, each pie is only 200 calories with icing, about 8g of fat, 27g carbs, and 14g of sugar. Ok, not great, but I was expecting a lot worse. The real challenge will be not eating the entire box tonight.

Sadly, my house didn’t smell like roasted marshmallows on an open campfire when making Pillsbury S’mores Mini Pies. It didn’t really smell like anything, and my inner fat kid started sweating with worry. Even upon opening the oven, the smell is very faint.

Pillsbury S'mores Mini Pies

Terribly Frosted Pillsbury S’mores Mini Pie

I sampled the chocolate icing as I did a poor job of drizzling it on, and it tastes exactly like Dunkaroos chocolate frosting did in the 90’s. Yes, I remember what that tastes like after all these years, which is a big reason I’m writing on my junk food website tonight. The dough on the Pillsbury S’mores Mini Pies, ironically enough, tastes like a product by Pillsbury’s primary competition in the toasted pastry arena – Kellogg’s Pop Tarts. That is to say, it tastes a little buttery, a little salty, and a little doughy.

Next, I made my way to the filling. My inner fat kid is nodding his head in silent appreciation. The sweet, warm innards taste great when combined with the dough. The chocolate filling on the inside picks up a toasted, burnt element like when you melt chocolate yourself for any recipe that calls for it. There’s so much freaking melty marshmallow fluff in here, which is quite honestly the correct ratio for S’mores since you apply one gigantic marshmallow to a small piece of chocolate. For all this rich, gooey filling, the pie holds together extremely well. The pie wasn’t messy at all and I didn’t wear my shame by the time I was finished.


Beautifully Cut Pillsbury S’mores Mini Pie

Make no question about it – I enjoyed the hell out of my Pillsbury S’mores Mini Pies. It’s like a Kellogg’s S’mores Pop Tart that was injected with so much filling that it ballooned up to the cusp of explosion, much like myself as I sit here before you. And though it’s one of the better interpretations of the S’mores experience I’ve had from packaged junk, I would have loved some more genuine graham flavor to the crust. A graham flavored dough would be stupid crazy good, and that flavor would have tied everything together in a tight little S’mores package while tasting distinctly different than the Kellogg’s Pop Tart version. But hey, I think we can all agree that the S’mores Pop Tart is the best one, right? I’ve never heard anyone say otherwise, and these Pillsbury S’mores Mini Pies are a cut above them. No; you will not replace S’mores Pop Tarts with these as an every day treat, as these pies will take a minimum of 20 minutes between pre-heating and baking. But if you’ve got 25 minutes to get down & dirty with the Pillsbury Dough Boy, reach for the Pillsbury S’mores Mini Pies.

How Hard It Is To Wait 25 Minutes Rating: 8.5 out of 10
How Hard It Is For Me to Breathe While Jumping Up and Down Rating: 9.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 8.5 out of 10

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