REVIEW: Wise Cinnabon Popcorn
And so the world waits with bated breath for Cinnamon Bun Oreos. Trust me, I hear all of your frustration since the news leaked. We know they’re coming soon, rumored between December and January. Cinnamon Bun Oreos already have a SKU assigned at Walmart, but they’re not yet to be found. I promise you they remain Priority Numero Uno, and I can basically declare a second residence in the cookie aisle of Walmart with how often I’ve checked. It’s currently consuming me in all facets of my life. Here is a picture of me working out recently:
Thankfully, we have a new product that could potentially hold us over until then. Introducing Wise Cinnabon Popcorn!
I’ve had my fair share of cinnamon sugar popcorns before, but not cinnamon bun popcorn. Would Wise be wise enough to execute on the subtle differences necessary to differentiate a cinnamon sugar popcorn from a Cinnabon Popcorn? There’s only one way to find out. Well, there are two ways. For me, it’s to pay $3.49 + tax and then spend hours of my life taking pictures and writing a review instead of socializing with friends. For you, you get to sip on your coffee and read a review that some loser wrote and then immediately return to being a productive human being while I get in my car and head back to Walmart for the third time today to look for Cinnamon Bun Oreos.
At the very least, Wise Cinnamon Popcorn is a MUCH healthier spin on the delicious flavor of real Cinnabons. Wise Cinnabon Popcorn is a gluten free, whole grain air-popped popcorn made with no preservatives, no MSG, and no Trans Fat. One cup is only 75 calories, but who are we kidding? One serving size is actually the entire bag at 750 calories. We better get started; we’ve got some work to do.
My first handful…wait, hold up. This smell. YES. It’s as if you’re approaching the Cinnabon kiosk at the mall. Not as overpowering and orgasm-inducing, but like… you’re 100 feet away and making a beeline for it.
Now once in my mouth, I’m initially impressed. The first thing I noticed was that the seasoning on this Wise Cinnabon Popcorn includes plenty of the butter flavor that define both a quality popcorn and every single Cinnabon. Phew… that’s a big, fat sigh of relief. I thought the full-bodied seasoning was as successful as you could hope for, balancing sweet from the brown sugar, salt, butter, and cinnamon spice to achieve something reminiscent of freshly baked cinnamon buns.
Now for the disappointing news. Though the flavors are accurate, you’re at the mercy of how much seasoning you get from bite to bite on your Wise Cinnabon Popcorn. You’re going to get some bites that are fantastic, some that don’t have enough salt for the seasoning to pop, and others that just don’t taste sweet at all. One thing I found consistently through each bite is that I craved more cinnamon; perhaps this is the ingredient that they should have gone a little more heavy-handed with.
Everything is here – it is. As you continue to shove handful after handful of Wise Cinnabon Popcorn into your mouth, the “missing” flavors you might experience on a bite-to-bite basis blend together and you’re left satisfied with the final product. The execution isn’t technically perfect, however. The lesson here is to eat your Wise Cinnabon Popcorn in large quantities and as fast as possible.
Repeat until Cinnamon Bun Oreos come out.
Odds I’ll Still Be Alive When Cinnamon Bun Oreos Come Out Rating: 2.5 out of 10
How Lethal the Scent of Fresh Baked Cinnabons Is Rating: 9.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10