REVIEW (x2): Talenti Old World Eggnog & Talenti Peppermint Bark
Before I was reviewing every junk food ever released, I didn’t stock my house with many unhealthy options. Sure, I would splurge and buy every new Oreo in the name of food exploration, but like most normal adults who care about their well-being, the less junk food you have in your house the better. One exception was always ice cream. It’s my favorite comfort treat when you’re having a down day, and all I require is a few sweet spoonfuls to remedy anything and everything. It’s an instant mood enhancer. I prefer to buy pints versus quarts so that I can stock my freezer with a plethora of flavor options to suit whatever I’m craving. Lately, Talenti gelato has been a go-to in my rotation, and tis the season for limited edition holiday-inspired flavors. Tonight we will be reviewing Talenti Old World Eggnog & Talenti Peppermint Bark.
I’m still young in my journey through Talenti’s impressive list of flavors, but my recent experience with Talenti Pumpkin Pie was an eye-opener. I went through Hell and back to procure a pint, literally searching a 100-mile radius and driving nearly 45 minutes in a race against time where the penalty is completely melted ice cream and completed melted pride. Though it was totally worth it, I found Talenti Pumpkin Pie two days later at a Safeway mere footsteps from my city residence. Now it’s everywhere, so please… do yourself a favor and try it if you aren’t completely sick of pumpkin spice yet.
But the good news is that I had no problems securing Talenti Old World Eggnog & Talenti Peppermint Bark, and you shouldn’t either. I’m going to start with Talenti Old World Eggnog because we’re past Thanksgiving and I haven’t even had a glass of eggnog yet!
Talenti Old World Eggnog utilizes just 9 simple ingredients, which I can really appreciate. You’ve got your milk, sugar, & cream (duh), dextrose and carob gum to do whatever science-y thing they do, and then egg yolk, vanilla, nutmeg, and natural flavor to push this towards eggnog. And that’s exactly what they do – eerily so, but it’s not shocking. Actual eggnog is just eggs, sugar, milk, cream, nutmeg, and hopefully some bourbon if you are doing it right. Talenti Old World Eggnog is straightforward and simple; it tastes exactly like egg nog. Just… one that you kept in the back of the fridge and it started to freeze. Though plenty creamy, it does have a certain iciness to it (it’s ice cream, ya idiot). The level of spice from the nutmeg is worth applauding, and the vanilla/natural flavor combo Talenti used does give this a faint trace of boozy goodness to drive home real adult eggnog. Problem is, it’s just kind of boring. There’s no logical mix-in for eggnog, and this lack of textural contrast works against Talenti Old World Eggnog as it doesn’t offer anything different than a glass of eggnog would. If you think you’d prefer to drink your eggnog out of a bowl with a spoon instead of out of a glass, Talenti Eggnog is the product for you.
It’s Just Really Cold Egg Nog Rating: 9.5 out of 10
It’s Nog Really That Special Rating: 7.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 6 out of 10
Talenti Peppermint Bark has a similarly short list of ingredients, and utilizes dutched chocolate, peppermint extract, and vanilla to derive its peppermint bark flavor. The chocolate chips, or I should say chocolate flakes, are thin little flecks of semisweet Belgian chocolate. It’s slightly off-putting/disappointing that the chocolate shavings are so thin that they don’t provide the fun crunch of chocolate chips, but holy cow. Every spoonful of Talenti Peppermint Bark has all the elements of actual peppermint bark, due to a delightfully milky & minty base and a dizzying amounts of chocolate flecks. The mint is a smooth and satisfying one; not overpowering, just right for most palettes. I personally could have used a little more bite from the mint in Talenti Peppermint Bark, but this mellow mint combines extremely well with the bitter dark chocolate. Every bite is super refreshing and tastes like Christmas, and I will gladly be a repeat buyer of Talenti Peppermint Bark. One other complaint is texture again. Peppermint bark has a signature snap that is lacking here, so in a way this feels like a York Peppermint Patty gelato a smidge more than it does a peppermint bark. York Peppermint Patties are delicious, though, and I really do like flecks!
How Much I Like Flecks Rating: 8 out of 10
How Much I Like Ben Affleck Rating: 8 out of 10 (Gone Girl); 1 out of 10 (He’s Just Not That Into You)
Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10