REVIEW: Entenmann’s French Toast Soft’ees
Entenmann’s French Toast Softees are back on shelves! Please find our review from last year below:
WELP that break-up with Thomas’ Maple French Toast English Muffins didn’t go so well. The Banana Bread English Muffins made me realize that I am a little Maple French Toast bitch, and the first thing I wanted when I woke up today was more French Toast.
So this is it. I’m officially ending French Toast season after this review. But I obviously need to go down in a huge French Toast blaze of glory, and these Entenmann’s French Toast Soft’ees appear to be the perfect way to go.
One man. Three donuts. Six hundred calories. A thousand regrets, before I even start.
Entenmann’s French Toast Soft’ees come in a box with three different donut varieties, all featuring a French Toast twist. The first is French Toast Plain. While “Plain” is a not a word in my vocabulary, these aren’t plain in the traditional sense.
They’re supposedly flavored like French Toast – my drug of choice. But these are billed as “plain” because the other two varieties use this same base donut and add cinnamon in one variety and powdered sugar in another. Excellent choices, as these are all key components to a perfect French Toast dish. The success of Entenmann’s French Toast Soft’ees, therefore, is going to depend heavily on that base donut.
There’s a beautifully-written suicide note on the back:
I seriously considered it… I promise you that. But I figured you might want to see this blog update next week, so I’ll just go ahead and get started with French Toast Plain.
Welp, they were right about one thing: these are plain as can be. I get nothing close to French toast here. I double checked that I grabbed a donut from the right box, because there are usually several boxes of doughnuts in my house. Yep, plain as shit.
The Plain donut in Entenmanns French Toast Soft’ees is doughy and mostly unflavored. No maple, no vanilla, no cinnamon flavors… there’s nothing really sweet about this donut. The ingredient list shows cinnamon and nutmeg oil, but you could have fooled me completely. Very disappointing because of the French Toast name, but if you like donuts… this is a still a soft, fluffy, fresh donut that would dunk well in your coffee. If you wanted a French Toast fix, you can dunk it straight into the garbage.
Plain Jane Rating: 8 out of 10
How Soft’ee My Abs Feel Lately Rating: 8 out of 10
Overall Rating: 4 out of 10
We can only go up from here, right? Our next Entenmann’s French Toast Soft’ee is French Toast Powdered Sugar.
A good diner is going to sprinkle a little powdered sugar on your French Toast, right? Well how about submerging the entire dish in powdered sugar? Keep dreaming. This is the same flavorless donut from before, except now it’s covered in powdered sugar.
It’s an improvement on taste for sure as powdered sugar donuts are hands over fist better than plain donuts. But this takes it even further away from “French Toast” because it dominates any traces of cinnamon you might have noted in the French Toast Plain (according to the ingredients, it’s in there). I still like it better though. The doughnuts are more moist than the plain, and actually taste like something. That something just isn’t French Toast.
Sugar, No Spice, And Not That Nice Rating: 8 out of 10
Over-Powdering Flavors Rating: 7.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 5 out of 10
French Toast Cinnamon is our only hope, and it held the best chance all along.
Okay, this just tastes like the brand’s normal cinnamon powdered donut. I can’t really cinnamon-sugar coat it… it’s pretty standard stuff here. What’s peculiar is that the cinnamon powdered sugar coating doesn’t even contain cinnamon. It contains cocoa for some reason, but not cinnamon. The flavor still offers something close to cinnamon spice instead of the one-dimensional powdered sugar.
This was my favorite of the three “French Toast” donuts, but I feel incredibly cheated.
How Much Cinnamon They Put in the Cinnamon Rating: 0 out of 10
How Much Lying Is a Sin Rating: 9 out of 10
Overall Rating: 5.5 out of 10
Folks, we’ve been duped. Entenmann’s French Toast Soft’ees do not taste like French Toast at all. After delivering something special with the Entenmann’s Maple French Toast Little Bites, this was a colossal disappointment by the brand and a horrible way to end French Toast Season. I simply will not accept this as my swan song, which is why I did this:
Green’s Maple French Toast Ice Cream +
Thomas’ Maple French Toast English Muffins =
10 out of 10 Ice Cream Sandwich.
Till next year, MFT.
Love, Junk Banter.
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