REVIEW: Trader Joe’s Shooting Stars Cookies
It happens when you least expect it. There you are, sitting alone in a McDonald’s parking lot… eating a McFlurry while “I Wanna Know What Love Is” by Foreigner plays on the radio. You’re crying, but you’re not sure why. You gaze out the windshield and would you believe it?! A shooting star! Ice cream and M&M’s dribble out your mouth as you find yourself in a state of deep self-reflection; your outer body is paralyzed as your inner body wishes for something, anything, better than this.
What did you wish for? Was it a wealth of riches? To find eternal love? If you’re anything like me, your wish definitely involved cookies in some way, shape, or form. Perhaps you wished for it to rain cookies, or that the emergency cookie tucked away in your pocket was bigger. If this is the kind of shit that goes through your head, you might be interested in Trader Joe’s Shooting Stars Cookies.
Trader Joe’s Shooting Stars Cookies are chocolate-coated sugar cookies covered in popping candy. Yes, cookies coated in Pop Rocks. Popping candy is one of those things that we loved as kids, but can’t explain today. Anything that explodes is awesome if you’re a child that doesn’t understand science like me – popping candy, Bomb Bags, Bang Snaps… I loved all of it. Whoever said “don’t play with your food” definitely wasn’t Trader Joe, as these Trader Joe’s Shooting Stars Cookies are as playful as you can get.
Though the package for Trader Joe’s Shooting Stars warns that the popping candy may explode right out of the package, mine did not. I was looking forward to the lawsuit resulting from getting Pop Rocks lodged in my eyeballs. Instead, I whole-cookied one of these bitches and hoped the popping would begin then. There was no immediate popping, but just as I went to let out an audible “Aw, man,” they took off. Open your mouth wide and chew like a camel when you eat Trader Joe’s Shooting Stars cookies; it’s then that they’ll explode steadily. The popping candy doesn’t taste like anything, but science is pretty cool!
Now for the taste of the actual cookie. Trader Joe’s Shootings Stars are damn solid cookies that are true to their description with not much else to say. I like to think of these as the fanciest, most explode-y version of Keebler Fudge Stripes you could ever wish upon a star for. The sugar cookies taste like something you would eat around the holidays: nice and sweet with a light, buttery, vanilla profile and a rich chocolate flavor from the coating on the bottom. The lasting flavor is this enjoyable chocolate as you finish the last bite. Then you’ll notice that there’s Pop Rocks still dancing on your tongue for no reason at all. The cookies are crispy with a satisfying snap, crackle, and pop.
Are Trader Joe’s Shooting Stars a gimmick? Sure, but I’m not going to hate on tasty cookies made with familiar, delicious ingredients and solid execution.
In summary, why the hell are these cookies exploding, anyway?
Parking Lot McFlurry Rating: 4 out of 10
Science AF Rating: 9.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10
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