REVIEW: Entenmann’s Pumpkin Muffins Little Bites
Recent studies suggest that eating smaller bites of food may boost satiety and satisfaction. Soooo…
These Entenmann’s Pumpkin Muffins Little Bites will be my first official crack at this theory. I have already proven time and again that any bite of pumpkin is guaranteed to boost my satisfaction to levels best described as “unhealthy” and “a little strange.” But apparently taking smaller bites of food might offer some legitimate health benefits.
Here’s the logic. Scientists believe that a greater number of smaller pieces gives the appearance of a larger quantity. This could lead to less caloric consumption over the present and subsequent meals. It’s the same reason they suggest eating more slowly; it allows for more opportunities to stop and realize: “I’ve had enough.”
Example: Instead of swallowing an entire Dominos Pizza in 2 minutes, you could try eating 1 slice every 10 seconds. You might realize after five slices that you only have enough room left for one Deep Fried Twinkie, which contains less calories than 3 more slices of pizza. Got it?
Since it’s right there in the name, tonight I will eat one pack of Entenmann’s Pumpkin Muffins Little Bites to see if small bites increase the size of my pumpkin boner.
Entenmann’s Pumpkin Muffins Little Bites are the seasonal favorite that follows the S’mores Little Bites and Cinnamon French Toast Little Bites. I thought both of those were killer. The pumpkin ones come out every year but this will be a first for me. I used to take zero bites of muffins when I was healthy and fit. Satiety was at an all-time low, and satisfaction even lower.
But now I’m fat and happy!
Not for long. I’m glad that I’m only taking little bites today because Entenmann’s Little Bites Pumpkin Muffins are pretty terrible.
What the hell happened? They’re made with real pumpkin but you would never be able to tell. They taste like plain muffins that were sprayed with Pumpkin Scented Air Freshener. And not even a good one. There is something incredibly artificial about this flavor. In fact, “artificial flavor” is higher on the ingredient list than even cinnamon. Then they just list generic “spice,” somewhere even further down the list than salt. What are these made out of?
The nicest thing I can say about these muffins is that they’re edible. The use of real pumpkin ensures that these stay moist. But with about a teaspoon of table sugar in each small muffin, I would expect these to be sweeter and better. They’re just very fake and one of the most disappointing pumpkin products I’ve had in a long while. I tried taking a bigger bite just for the hell of it. This amounted to swallowing a pumpkin muffin whole, which is a great way to bypass your taste buds entirely and avoid the funky pumpkin flavor.
In summary, little bites don’t boost satiety nor satisfaction.
How Flaccid I Am Right Now Rating: 9 out of 10
How Much These Bite the Big One Rating: 6 out of 10
Overall Rating: 4 out of 10
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