REVIEW: Girl Scout S’mores Cookies (The Chocolatey Coated One)

I won’t pretend for a second that I know what the Girl Scouts actually do.

Here’s what they do according to Wikipedia (with an addendum by Junk Banter):

“The Girl Scouts of the USA aims to empower girls and helps teach values such as honesty, fairness, courage, compassion, character, sisterhood, confidence, entrepreneurship, and citizenship through activities including camping, community, learning first aid, and earning badges by acquiring practical skills” sell delicious cookies for $4 a box. (Emphasis my own)

For a bunch of camping goodie-goodies, I’m surprised it took them so long to make Girl Scout S’mores Cookies.

Girl Scout S'mores Cookies

Girl Scout S’mores Cookies

Girl Scout S’mores Cookies were announced this past August on National S’mores Day as a new cookie for 2017. “But Junk Banter, isn’t it still 2016?” I’m not even sure to be honest. I’ve been eating Christmas things for a few weeks now, so maybe?

*Checks calendar.* Nope! Still 2016.

Here’s the deal: Maryland, my home state, is one of the few whose Girl Scout cookie-selling season begins in the fall; most other states begin the following spring. If you’re mad about this, all I have to say is: 🖕🙃🖕

Girl Scout S’mores Cookies will come in two varieties: a crispy graham cookie double dipped in a crème icing and enrobed in a chocolatey coating (pictured above), and a crunchy graham sandwich cookie with a chocolate and marshmallowy filling. The Girl Scouts license two different bakeries to make their cookies, and which variety is available to you depends on which of the bakeries services your area. My area only sells the chocolatey coated one, but rest assured I will figure out a way to eat all the cookies.

Girl Scout S'mores Cookies

Not much to look at, but I don’t think appearance is one of the values the Girl Scouts preach.

The cookies are light with a thin chocolatey coating that looks and tastes awfully familiar. Inside, the graham cookie is crispy, crumbly, and looks and tastes awfully familiar. Hey… wait a minute. Are the Keebler elves all honorary Girl Scouts? Because Girl Scout S’mores Cookies tastes exactly like Keebler Deluxe Grahams.

Girl Scout S'mores Cookies

Keebler Deluxe Grahams/Girl Scout S’mores Cookies

It’s not that they’re bad, but these cookies are about as average as you can get. The marshmallow layer is so thin that it’s barely noticeable both in flavor and appearance. The chocolate isn’t that sweet and only offers minimal flavor. These cookies are 80% graham cracker. Not a very good s’mores interpretation at all. In fact, I wouldn’t ever order these over Thin Mints, Tagalongs (Peanut Butter Patties), Samoas (Caramel deLites), Do-si-dos (Peanut Butter Sandwich), or Trefoils (Shortbread). Hell, I would much rather eat Lemonades over these.

This pains me to do, but I’m afraid I have to kill some of the buzz on the Girl Scout S’mores cookies. Here’s hoping the sandwich version is better because these are nothing special. Maybe the Girl Scouts should focus less on teaching good morals and more on teaching how to bake.

In summary, no badges were earned today.

Odds I Just Made Some Little Girls Cry Rating: 7 out of 10
Odds I’m Going to Hell Rating: 9.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 6 out of 10

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4 Responses

  1. Marc P says:

    I can’t wait to give these a try – been stoked about these since I saw the initial announcements.
    Maybe blasphemy, but these I expect to be a better Thin Mint.

    By the way, terrific and entertaining post as always.

    • Junk Male says:

      Thank you, but I trust you will be agree when you try them. They’re just chocolate blobs of vaguely graham-flavored sheets. Thin Mints steamroll them.

  2. TheIcon says:

    Got these from my fellow Maryland girlies and thought they were garbage. I agree with the marshmallow. Ive seen more marshmallow after my ball-less dog humps his blankie.

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