How do you take your coffee, black?
Just kidding, that’s dumb.
What about with tons of sugar? And flavor syrup? All of the above, maybe? Then rolled into a breakfast pastry, served piping hot with an extra 400 calories you definitely don’t need at midnight?
I’VE GOT JUST THE THING.
Kellogg’s Dunkin Donuts Frosted Mocha Pop Tarts are one of two new coffee-inspired breakfast pastries available for a limited time. When I was a kid, coffee was always “blegh,” but Pop Tarts were always “YAY!” Now that I’m adult, coffee is awesome and Pop Tarts are… well, they’re still awesome.
Frosted Mocha Pop Tarts are the chocolate twin to the Frosted Vanilla Latte Pop Tarts. Notice that neither of the first ever coffee-flavored Pop Tarts are just coffee. We spent years “clamoring” for coffee-flavored Pop Tarts and the ones we get are dressed with chocolate and vanilla.
That’s because coffee is still pretty “blegh” without any help. It’s essential, but… “blegh.”
The good news is that Kellogg’s Dunkin Donuts Frosted Mocha Pop Tarts aren’t “blegh.” The bad news is that I almost forgot these were coffee-flavored Pop Tarts when I first bit into them.
These Frosted Mocha Pop Tarts taste too similar to the Chocolate Fudge Pop Tarts when eaten straight from the package. There’s a light cocoa flavor to the pastry and a richer, sweet chocolate flavor to the filling. The only real difference is that the Frosted Mocha Pop Tarts finish slightly bitter where the Chocolate Fudge Pop Tarts are all sweet.
The coffee flavor became more discernible the more I ate. However, I had to keep reminding myself that I was looking for it. It’s difficult to attribute that bitter finish solely to the coffee flavor when cocoa is naturally bitter to begin with.
Toasting the Frosted Mocha Pop Tarts diminishes the coffee flavor further. This is something I also found in the Frosted Vanilla Latte Pop Tarts. Now, it’s not all bad news. The pastry tastes better when browned, and the filling takes on a more decadent character like hot fudge – both in taste and texture.
Weirdos Who Freeze Their Pop Tarts, freezing these didn’t make the coffee flavor shine. It just made the Pop Tarts colder and dumber.
While they objectively taste fine (good, even), I must be fair in scoring. Kellogg’s Dunkin Donuts Frosted Mocha Pop Tarts are just a nominally more nature version of Chocolate Fudge Pop Tarts. I wanted more coffee, more cream, and more sugar, but all I got was more chocolate.
What a cruel world.
Black Coffee Rating: 3.5 out of 10
People Who Freeze Their Pop Tarts Rating: 1 out of 10
Overall Rating: 6.5 out of 10
Our friends at Cerealously reviewed Frosted Chocolate Mocha Pop Tarts too! Find out what they had to say by reading their review here: Review via Cerealously
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