As a historian of processed garbage, I recently discussed the and summarized with a chart:
The Twinkie reached its apex with the release of the Deep Fried Twinkie. After years of zany cremes and waxy fudge coatings, it outdid itself in ways I couldn’t imagine: frying itself in funnel cake batter and chocolate breading.
Just like that, a mediocre sponge cake was transformed into a delicious, artery-clogging masterpiece. Surely there’s nowhere left to go, right?
Ummm… I think I’m going to have to revise the chart:
The only thing that matters in life right now is Hostess Twinkies Ice Cream. Every significant event in Twinkie history culminates with this product.
The Twinkie is now a submarine in ice cream.
Hostess teamed up with Nestle Dreyer’s to make Hostess Twinkies Ice Cream. In doing so, they also made each and every one of our inner fat kids’ dreams come true.
Hostess Twinkies ice cream is sweet butter cream ice cream with sponge cake pieces and a frosting swirl.
The look under the lid is a sight for sore eyes. It looks so much like Twinkies that you could spot Twinkie the Kid if you look closely enough.
The sweet butter cream ice cream is exactly what it sounds like. It’s very sweet, but that sweetness is a little more tepid than a straight buttercream frosting. If you took a butter pecan ice cream, removed the pecans, and blended it with vanilla frosting, that’s pretty much what you have here. The texture is a little gummy but it’s par the course for Nestle Dreyer’s ice cream.
It just wouldn’t be a Twinkies product if the quality was premiere.
The sponge cake pieces in Hostess Twinkies Ice Cream are fluffy yet still have a firm chew. Their flavor is slightly buttery. The cake pieces are small but there’s a fair amount buried within the pint. Though this should come as no surprise, the pieces are difficult to identify as Twinkies instead of the typical cake mix-in you would find in, say, Ben & Jerry’s Confetti Cake.
The same is true for the frosting swirl. All you’ll really notice is a slightly smoother texture and a tiny increase to the sweetness when your spoon catches some frosting. Its impact here is negligible. There isn’t much swirl to go around, and its flavor integrates seamlessly with the sweet butter cream ice cream.
And yet it’s incredibly addictive.
Credit nostalgia, perhaps. The Hostess Twinkies Ice Cream is mindless and satisfying comfort food even if one-dimensional. Fortunately, that dimension is “sugar” and it tastes good. It’s similar to other popular birthday cake flavored ice creams with a mild Twinkie twist. I had immense fun digging for more Twinkie pieces and trying to catch some frosting swirl all in the same spoonful, just to see what kind of Twinkie magic I could conjure.
Turns out that magic was just extra body fat…
I can’t stop eating this.
Twinkie Submarines Rating: 8 out of 10
Getting Twinkies for Your Birthday Rating: 6 out of 10
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10
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