It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means? Another random Fudge Stripes flavor just came out!
Keebler Strawberry Cheesecake Fudge Stripes… because nothing says “fudge” quite like strawberry cheesecake.
Do the Elves even make regular Fudge Stripes anymore? Pretty sure I just reviewed the Lemon Cream Pie Fudge Stripes, pretty sure I’m still eating the Cinnamon Roll Fudge Stripes, pretty sure I just found two more flavors of Minions-themed Fudge Stripes, and pretty positive my Target is still selling expired Red Velvet Fudge Stripes from two years ago.
I’m also pretty sure Ernie just launches a dart at a Pinterest board to determine the next flavor.
Keebler Strawberry Cheesecake Fudge Stripes are a color of pink that cookies should not be. They have white stripes of “fudge” that I suppose holds all the cheesecake flavor. At least that’s the hope, because most things that promise cheesecake flavor just end up tasting like lies. For example, White Cheesecake M&M’s tasted like buttered popcorn jelly beans, and Ben & Jerry’s Cheesecake ice cream tastes like nothing. Lies.
A rare exception was that I loved the Hershey’s Cherry Cheesecake Bar, but deep down I know it was lying when it said it loved me back.
To the Elves’ credit, Keebler Strawberry Cheesecake Fudge Stripes taste more like cheesecake than I ever thought they would. There’s a little bit of creamy tang here (ew) that cuts the normal sweetness of a Keebler Fudge Stripe. It surfaces especially hard on the back end and I find it quite enjoyable. I don’t know why this review is getting so dirty but I have to think it’s Ernie the Pervert’s fault.
The strawberry element is more mild than the cheesecake, which is surprising because it’s a much easier flavor to get right. I do think there’s a very light fruitiness here but I wouldn’t have said it was strawberry with any confidence had I not been told beforehand. Cherry, maybe? Whatever it is, it complements the cheesecake flavor well.
The more I think about it, the cheesecake flavor should be the more dominant flavor in this cookie. I don’t drown my cheesecake in f*cking fruit like some kind of monster; I put a small amount on top before drowning it in chocolate and salted caramel and other fattening stuff. These cookies are pretty well-rounded and balanced appropriately for the dessert. I just wish the strawberry was more identifiable as strawberry.
Ernie the Elf may be getting rather ambitious for a crazy ole bastard that lives in a tree, but cut the man some slack. He’s going to die soon.
Ernie the Elf’s Pinterest Board Rating: 8 out of 10
All of Ernie the Elf’s Other Internet Activity Rating: You Don’t Wanna Know out of 10
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10
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