With all the pumpkin reviews I do on this blog and all the pumpkin pictures I post to Instagram, the #1 thing I hear is: “Junk Banter, you’re such a little white girl.” As if it’s a bad thing, or I should be embarrassed…
Guys, it’s 2017… the fact I was born with a penis is irrelevant. I know what I am and I’m damn proud of it.
My secret is finally out…
Pop Secret Pumpkin Spice Popcorn, that is, and this is definitely my kind of shit.
Back in June, I made it no secret that I loved the limited edition Pop Secret Popfetti Popcorn. It’s really great to see a top popcorn brand like Pop Secret get involved with these trendy flavors. Pumpkin spice popcorns have existed for a while now, but they’re almost always of the caramel corn variety and are basically candy.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
Popfetti Pop Secret Pumpkin Spice popcorn takes a more traditional approach with a bag of kernels that you have to microwave with that super secret “Popcorn” button that never gets it quite right.
But here’s something else that didn’t get done right: the flavor.
First, I tasted regular popcorn. After a few more bites, I got even more “popcorn” flavor. Finally, it finishes with some really overwhelming “popcorn” notes. See where I’m going with this?
Pop Secret Pumpkin Spice Popcorn doesn’t taste anything like pumpkin spice.
Even when shaken to the maximum extent, there really isn’t much of a unique flavor on this popcorn. Some popcorn pieces are greasier than others, some are saltier, and some are sweeter, but blindfold me and I wouldn’t know the difference between this and regular popcorn. Other than “natural and artificial flavor,” nothing in the ingredient list is even pumpkin spiced.
I can’t be COMPLETELY brutal when scoring this because it IS still popcorn, and popcorn is 50% of the title. But Pop Secret’s Pumpkin Spice popcorn definitely makes me regret getting my penis removed.
The Popcorn Button Rating: 3 out of 10
The Pain Post- Penis Removal Surgery Rating: 10 out of 10
Overall Rating: 4.5 out of 10
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