You go out partying with the Cap’n. You have a few too many drinks, crash on his boat, and wake up next to a late 18th-century naval captain the next morning.
He makes you Blueberry Pancake Crunch.
Now let me show you what happens when you wake up next to me…
You’ve just made the biggest mistake of your life! Not only will you have to live with this shame and regret forever, but now you have to eat like a child’s breakfast AND talk to me so you don’t throw up before your Uber arrives.
Welcome to my world, sweetie!
Cap’n Crunch’s Berrytastic Pancake Mix is a partnership/possible indicator of a burgeoning romance between the Cap’n and Aunt Jemima. It’s a boxed buttermilk pancake mix with Cap’n Crunch flavored bits that you only have to add water to prepare (and also make a mess of your kitchen, and also try your hardest not to burn your pancakes, but inevitably do so anyway).
Throw it all in a bowl and you’ll have what looks like a chunky Cap’n Crunch Clam Chowder.
But something as unnatural as this can’t be eaten by just normal means. Oh no… this disgusting, perverted love affair between Mr. Crunch and Ms. Jemima has also yielded a Cap’n Crunch’s Ocean Blue Maple Syrup. It is so blue that it’s almost offensive; easily the bluest thing that’s not supposed to be blue since the days of colored ketchup in the 90’s.
And you know you’re in for a real treat when the word “ARTIFICIALLY” is bigger than the words “Cap’n Crunch” and “Ocean Blue” on the bottle.
While you can see the colored bits in the batter a little more clearly, you don’t get a vibrant funfetti-like effect when you cook up Cap’n Crunch’s Berrytastic Pancake Mix into proper flapjacks.
Which is why, I’m assuming, they made this radioactive blue syrup to remind you that these ain’t your mama’s pancakes. (They’re your Aunt’s… your great Aunt Jemima.)
But for the most part, these do taste like your mama’s pancakes. The mix uses Cap’n Crunch’s Oops! All Berries cereal, but you really have to concentrate to get any of their flavor. At certain bites, I do get a hint of Cap’n Crunch. I just want a lot more of it.
The bits aren’t crunchy like cereal or anything, if you were expecting that.
I told you: if you’re gonna stay over, you’re gonna be disappointed.
Cap’n Crunch’s Ocean Blue Artificially Maple Flavored Syrup is exactly that. I’ll give them credit that their artificial maple flavor tastes pretty much like any other mass-produced, name-brand maple syrup in normal grocery stores. But I’d have to think more than a few people are going to buy this blue syrup thinking it’s going to taste like Cap’n Crunch or at least have a berry flavor – despite the label CLEARLY telling you it’s MAPLE.
Overall, Cap’n Crunch’s Berrytastic Pancake Mix is a perfectly fine-tasting regular pancake mix, but a pretty lousy Cap’n Crunch interpretation.
I think it’s fair to say Aunt Jemima calls the shots in this relationship…
Burning Questions
- Do you really think anyone would stay the night at your place? I have A LOT of food.
- How do these compare to IHOP’s Cap’n Crunch Cereal Pancakes? They don’t.
- Will this blue syrup kill me? If this blog stops updating, yes.
Place of Purchase: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
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