What were you doing 25 years ago?
Were you even born?
Were you watching Clueless on VHS? The Simpsons when it was still good?
Were you listening to Gansta’s Paradise on cassette, rewinding it with a pencil to play it back?
Playing Twisted Metal on your brand new SONY PLAYSTATION, which didn’t yet have a number next to it?
You wanna know what I was doing?
Dunking my final freakin’ Dunkaroo into a mountain of frosting every. damn. day…
Dunkaroos were amazing always, but they peaked in popularity somewhere around 1995. For context, this was the same year that Michael Jordan came back to basketball after not hitting some baseballs for a couple years. It was arguably the greatest comeback of all-time, as he immediately went on to win three straight NBA Championships upon his return.
That is… the greatest comeback of all-time *until now*.
My trip down memory lane pales in comparison to the hype Dunkaroos has been dishing on their Twitter page, so let me just share with you some of the best:
? Definitely coming back. Summer 2020. ? pic.twitter.com/PcTswQ2TRy
— Dunkaroos (@Dunkaroos) February 3, 2020
*door shut noise* ? pic.twitter.com/52dWfiYlkU
— Dunkaroos (@Dunkaroos) February 4, 2020
3-88-66-55-2-777-666-666-7777
222-666-6-444-66-4
8-44-444-7777
7777-88-6-6-33-777 pic.twitter.com/7TRWRBTqXX— Dunkaroos (@Dunkaroos) February 19, 2020
Sorry, ran out of text messages so I couldn’t reply til now…
Dunkaroos are still coming back Summer 2020.
— Dunkaroos (@Dunkaroos) March 31, 2020
Been working on my design skills a lot lately pic.twitter.com/LO8agKI3cK
— Dunkaroos (@Dunkaroos) April 9, 2020
Nostalgia as a key driver of marketing and product development is certainly a hotter theme than ever these days, but it’s rare we’re blessed with an epic comeback of this magnitude. And quite frankly, we should all be patting ourselves on the back for this. Betty Crocker pulled the trigger, but we ALL helped bring Dunkaroos back. Special shoutouts to anyone born between approximately 1985 and 1999 for being the most vocal and relentless about this. And to all our parents for stuffing them in our lunch boxes for so many great years.
The 2020 version of Dunkaroos debuts in just one flavor: vanilla cookies with vanilla frosting with rainbow sprinkles. This is actually a change from the OG, first flavor of Dunkaroos that used cinnamon graham cookies. Vanilla cookies, as well as several other varieties that included chocolate cookies and chocolate chip graham cookies, as well as other frostings like chocolate, would be added later (WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!). The official site for Dunkaroos maintains that the cookies and frosting are the same recipe it was back in the day.
So the big (and only) question becomes: Are Dunkaroos as good as we all remember, or did our junior taste buds just adore anything with sugar?
The good news is that the vanilla cookies are even better than I remember, and the better news is this:
Dunkaroos rule hard.
Guys, AS IF THERE WAS ANY DOUBT, Dunkaroos are still the bomb.com. The vanilla cookies taste like little vanilla-flavored shortbread cookies (almost like mini Lorna Doones). The rainbow chip frosting has always been a Betty Crocker speciality and it’s so amazingly delicious. It’s sweet but not nauseatingly so, and even has a little tang to it. Just phenomenal.
I mean, is this what perfection looks like or what?
I mean this with respect, but if you think Dunkaroos don’t rule, then you can go dunk your head in the toilet where it belongs.
As always, the proper way to eat Dunkaroos is to barely use any icing on your first fifteen or so cookies, and then make your last cookie look like this:
Just look at them one more time and soak it all in:
Dunkaroos are BACK and better than ever (or the same… which is perfect). Huge shoutout to Dunkaroos for sending me these, along with some killer swag to celebrate their return.
I know a lot of you are too young to know it, but this is what being hard in the 90’s looked like:
Burning Questions
- WHERE CAN I GET A DUNKAROOS WIND BREAKER?! You can’t… VIP only.
- ARE THOSE DUNKAROOS SCRUNCHIES ON YOUR WRISTS?! They sure are.
- AREN’T YOU A BALD, MIDDLE AGED MAN? I sure am.
Place of Purchase: Sent to me. Available at 7-Eleven in May and other retailers in June.
Rating: A Million out of 10
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They are clearly marketing geniuses.