Like clockwork.

Earlier this year, Ben & Jerry’s released Cake My Day ice cream – vanilla cake batter ice cream, vanilla cake pieces, buttercream frosting, and a raspberry swirl. I really enjoyed Cake My Day and spent an entire paragraph applauding the use of the raspberry swirl. I thought it was the best component of the pint and made the ice cream special.

Apparently whenever I declare undying love for something, it gets taken away. Gingerbread Oreos? Not returning this year. Blue Bunny Holi-doodle Christmas Cookie Ice Cream? Taking the year off. Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch? Don’t even get me started.

Now, Cake My Day and the beloved raspberry swirl have hit the graveyard in favor of this:

Ben & Jerry’s Confetti Cake

Ben & Jerry’s Confetti Cake Ice Cream is a new limited batch flavor available exclusively at Walmart. It features their vanilla cake batter ice cream, cake pieces, vanilla frosting swirls, and sprinkles. Basically they replaced the raspberry and buttercream swirls of Cake My Day with even more vanilla and some sprinkles. I know people lose their shit for sprinkles, but this sounds like a serious downgrade to me…

I downgrade my health to find out now.

I guess things could be worse. One of the biggest strengths of both Ben & Jerry’s Confetti Cake and the departed Cake My Day is the vanilla cake batter base; it’s simply superior to their vanilla one. The cake batter ice cream tastes like buttercream frosting folded into vanilla ice cream. It’s really smooth, really tasty, and avoids coming off as too sweet.

The vanilla frosting swirl replaces the buttercream frosting swirl in Cake My Day. Honestly, you could have fooled me here. My tastebuds can’t discern any swirl in Confetti Cake, just as they couldn’t with Cake My Day. It’s disappointing that there’s no contrast, and it makes me miss that damn raspberry swirl even more.

I hope you’re all happy.

I’ve said it time and again: what’s cake without cake? Fortunately there are plenty of large cake pieces in Ben & Jerry’s Confetti Cake. The chew factor is fun; the cake pieces are decently dense and they taste good enough. I swear there is a tinge of an artificial salty flavor that brings back memories of me eating Play Doh as a kid. Oddly enough, those are all fond memories. I’m unfazed.

The sprinkles are everywhere. Their biggest benefit is to texture, but there’s enough to affect the flavor as well. They add a welcomed crunch and that familiar, powdery sugar flavor that everyone likes even though sprinkles aren’t that tasty if we’re being honest.

So here’s the thing: Ben & Jerry’s Confetti Cake is exactly what it sounds like. This flavor had a pretty high floor and Ben & Jerry were happy to just sit on it. It’s mostly enjoyable even if the flavors contained within are redundant at times. The only thing I can’t understand is why this isn’t a forever flavor. There is just nothing special about this one that warrants the limited batch treatment. You know what would help? A RASPBERRY SWIRL. But I am positive everyone is going to love this more than I did.

Screw you guys.

Not Getting What You Want Rating: 1 out of 10
Seeing Everyone Else Get What They Want Rating: 0.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10

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