Recently, I tore apart the Girl Scouts for making some pretty terrible cookies. (See: Adventurefuls)

This got me thinking:

• Are they losing their edge?
• Am I losing my mind?
• Could a pair of senile men make a better cookie than they can?

Let’s find out!

 Ben & Jerry’s Chewy Gooey Cookie

Alright, so I know I’m reaching here. Yes, I know the Girl Scouts don’t actually bake the cookies. And yes, I’m aware that Ben & Jerry don’t even work for the company that share their names. And YES, I know that Keebler makes knock-off Girl Scout cookies year-round, but I really don’t want to award this fictional cookie bake-off I’ve created in my fat brain to a bunch of imaginary Elves.

Enter Ben & Jerry’s Chewy Gooey Cookie. Clearly modeled after the Girl Scouts’ Samoas, this new year-round pint features milk chocolate & coconut ice creams with fudge flakes, shortbread cookies, and caramel swirls.

It’s the second time in as many years that Ben & Jerry’s is gunning for the Girl Scouts’ heads, after we saw them introduce Thick Mint (Junk Banter Mint) as part of the Topped lineup.

Let’s take a moment and celebrate the return of the coconut ice cream base in the Ben & Jerry’s lineup. Chewy Gooey Cookie is currently the only pint that offers it. I’m a big coconut fan and I find this to be one of their best bases; just a ton of refreshing flavor. The pint says you don’t have to be a coconut fan to enjoy this ice cream, but I think that’s a bunch of malarky. If you don’t like coconut, odds are you’re going to hate this.

The chocolate ice cream is standard fare, but you can’t have a Samoa without chocolate and it gets the job done. The fudge flakes add little pops of chocolate similar to what you’d find striping and coating the bottom of the actual cookie.

Unfortunately, that’s about where things fall off for Ben & Jerry’s Chewy Gooey Cookie.

There’s nothing especially chewy or gooey about this “cookie”, because there amount of caramel is seriously lacking. The above photo is a good representation of the entire pint; there are some thin swirls here and there, but I didn’t encounter anything I would call a good “pool” of caramel anywhere throughout. Sometimes it’s so thin that you can’t even taste much of it, which is just a huge shame because you can tell the flavor combinations would be dynamite if the caramel was more prominent.

I bought a second pint just to see if my first was a fluke, but it was more of the same.

The shortbread cookies are there but I have to be honest with you. As much as I love shortbread cookies, they’re the worst cookie addition to an ice cream in my opinion. When out of the freezer and swimming in powerfully flavored coconut and milk chocolate ice creams, they kind of just taste like frozen nothingness.

Ben & Jerry’s Chewy Gooey Cookie is a tasty version of a coconut chocolate chip ice cream, but doesn’t do a Samoa justice at all.

I guess I have no choice but to give the title to the stupid Elves.

Burning Questions:

1. My daughter is a Girl Scout! Tell her her cookies suck.
2. How dare you! How dare SHE?
3. I thought the Adventurefuls tasted great. Well, maybe you have COVID…

Place of Purchase: Giant

Rating: 6 out of 10

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