Creepy Cocoa Crisp M&M’s are back for another Halloween season! Please find our review below:

Could you imagine getting a bag of rice when trick-or-treating on Halloween?

It wouldn’t be the worst thing I’ve ever gotten…

In the spirit of these new Creepy Cocoa Crisp M&M’s, which feature a cocoa crisp center (like chocolate rice cereal), I would like to share with you a ranking of the worst things I’ve ever gotten while trick-or-treating during my youth.

5.  A trick.

In a rare instance of someone taking the phrase too literally, an old man performed a trick. He pulled a quarter from behind one of my friend’s ears and gave it to him.

The rest of us got nothing.

4.  A pack of tennis balls.

In my elder years I can appreciate that this is a pretty good get. But I was a fat kid; it literally took me all the exercise I planned on doing for the entire year just to get to your porch for candy.

Don’t make me exercise with some stupid balls.

3.  Smarties.

Smarties are terrible. There are many, repeat offenders who give out nothing but Smarties and bubble gum balls and all that other shit that ends up at the bottom of my pillowcase that I’ll eventually throw out, because nobody in my family wants them either.

If you give out Smarties, you’re a dumbass.

2.  Stamps.

Postage stamps! There was this one house that would ALWAYS give out stamps, and I never understood it. Did you want me to write a letter to someone? Who? And why?

You’re lucky I didn’t mail you a bag of flaming dog poop.

1.  A can of baked beans.

Guy gave my friends some candy, then me a can of baked beans. Said he was all out of candy.

I think he was just pissed I walked across his lawn.

Left him a can of baked beans in his mailbox.

As long as these Creepy Cocoa Crisp M&M’s are better than baked beans, then I’m in good shape.

As mentioned earlier, Creepy Cocoa Crisp M&M’s feature a cocoa crisp center, so pretty much like the Crispy M&M’s but with a cocoa-flavored rice instead of regular-flavored rice. These M&M’s also use a layer of dark chocolate.

I have to admit: at first I was pretty skeptical about the use of cocoa rice. How different could they really be than regular crispy M&M’s, since M&M’s already feature so much chocolate?

The answer is quite a bit.

The Creepy Cocoa Crispy M&M’s are nice and fat, really spotlighting the new cocoa crisp center. More importantly I can REALLY taste it, and it tastes like Kellogg’s Cocoa Krispies. I initially questioned why these wouldn’t use milk chocolate (milk and cereal, you dummies!), and I figured the cocoa rice might be too redundant with dark chocolate. Instead, the dark chocolate really intensifies the flavor and makes the M&M’s taste like they’re supposed to.

I actually love these. Creepy Cocoa Crisp M&M’s don’t do anything too wild, yet they’re still incredibly effective. They’re easily superior to the regular Crispy M&M’s.

In summary, these are way better than baked beans, and if you ever give my kids stamps on Halloween, then I might poop in your mailbox.

People Who Give Out Crappy Candy on Halloween Rating: 0 out of 10
Chocolate Rice Rating: 8 out of 10
Overall Rating: 8.5 out of 10

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