It was only a few years ago that General Mills went straight for Kellogg’s jugular with a sharp middle finger in Lucky Charms Frosted Flakes, and now those little f*ckers are at it again.

General Mills Lucky Charms Marshmallow Clusters

I can hear your collective hearts sink as I remind you that Kellogg’s recently discontinued one of the absolute greatest cereals of all-time: Kellogg’s Rice Krispies Treats cereal. Well, first they decided to reformulate it to something much less-than, and the backlash was so huge that they just said “to hell with it” and canned it entirely. I just can’t imagine the breakdown of judgment that must occur in someone who makes a lot of money to think this was a good idea.

Enter General Mills who is now serving up these new Lucky Charms Marshmallow Clusters, which appear to be little Rice Krispie treats AND Lucky Charms marshmallows!

OR AT LEAST THAT’S WHAT I AND LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE WHO LOOKED AT THE BOX WOULD THINK!!!

I’m going to just come out and say it: Lucky Charms Marshmallow Clusters is the biggest fraud that’s ever disgraced the cereal aisle. Full stop.

What you think you’re getting is cereal clusters made with – or at least flavored like – marshmallow crispy treats. What you actually get are just generic, bland corn clusters with Lucky Charms marshmallow thrown in. Like Cap’n Crunch was in a car accident.

The already-pretty-flavorless corn clusters lose every last shred of dignity in milk, to the point where I think this cereal isn’t just a disappointment… it’ just a bad cereal.

I can’t get over what a downgrade this cereal is from anything in the Lucky Charms family. It’s unbelievable that someone let this pass-through the test kitchen without realizing the expectations they painted with the name “Marshmallow Clusters” and the beautiful graphics on the box that show the clusters glistening as if they were coated in delicious marshmallow glaze. If you didn’t read this read review ahead of time, I guarantee you’ll be bamboozled.

I thought General Mills was flashing the middle finger at Kellogg’s, but it turns out they’re giving it to us.

Burning Questions:

1. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? Nope.
2. Will we ever get Rice Krispies Treats Cereal back? Sign the petition.
3. What’s a better name for this cereal? Lucky Charms Horse Shit.

Place of Purchase: Sent to me by General Mills (Thank you guys but c’mon!!)

Rating: 3.5 out of 10

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