I’ll put it bluntly: as a cereal, Rice Krispies are dead to me.

Raise your hand if you eat regular Rice Krispies for breakfast. Ok, a few of you? Now lower your hand if you only eat them after adding several spoonfuls of table sugar.

That’s what I thought…

Once Rice Krispies Treats cereal debuted, and to a lesser extent the Frosted Rice Krispies, I had no reason to even look at regular Rice Krispies at the breakfast table. It is almost literally the white rice of cereal, and as a reference point I only eat white rice in sushi or when it’s fried in butter and pork fat.

Similarly, I only mess around with Rice Krispies when they’re drowning in butter and marshmallow.

…and I can’t wait to drown these Kellogg’s Strawberry Rice Krispies in butter and marshmallow.

Kellogg’s Strawberry Rice Krispies

As a standalone they’re better than regular Rice Krispies by default, but I can’t even pretend I’m especially excited for Kellogg’s Strawberry Rice Krispies.

So I headed straight to the store to buy marshmallows and butter.

I should add at this point that I was quite drunk when I had this idea, which explains why I took some liberties with the recipe and bought some extra mix-ins.

It also explains why I forgot to take any pictures of the cereal for you guys before making the treats.

I did try the cereal dry, however, and it was nothing to write home about. There’s no real strawberries used and the flavor is pretty artificial.

The only reason to buy this cereal is to do exactly as I’m about to tell you.

Here’s what you’ll need:

Ingredients:

1 Entire box Kellogg’s Strawberry Rice Krispies

1 ½ Entire sticks of unsalted butter

1 Entire 10 oz bag of Kraft Mini Marshmallows (set aside 2 cups)

1 Entire teaspoon of vanilla extract

1 Entire half bag of white chocolate chips (6 oz)

1 Entire bag of dried mixed berries (like, craisins and shit) (5 oz) 

1 Entire half teaspoon salt

1 Entire bottle of your favorite white wine

Recipe:

1.  Begin drinking 1 entire bottle of white wine, and continue drinking throughout preparation.

2.  Melt butter in a large pot over medium-high heat. Once melted, stir as it bubbles and foams and turns golden around the edges. Keep drinking wine but DO NOT BURN THE BUTTER!

3.  Once you accidentally burn the butter, remove from heat and add vanilla, salt, and all the marshmallows except for the 2 reserved cups.

4. Return pot to low heat and stir the mixture with a wooden spoon or spatula until the marshmallows are completely melted. Pour another glass of wine.

5. Remove pan from heat, dump the entire box of Kellogg’s Strawberry Rice Krispies Treats into the pan, and stir until evenly combined.

6. Add the reserved 2 cups marshmallows, the dried berries, and white chocolate chips and stir until evenly incorporated. Do not over-stir and cause the chocolate and extra marshmallows to melt (you want ooey gooey pockets). Grab a handful with your bare hands and shove it into your face.

7. Press the mixture evenly in a baking pan lined with parchment paper (or nonstick/greased foil), and let cool for an eternity (one hour) while you polish off the bottle of wine.

8. Cut into squares and enjoy.

Servings:

Serves 18-24, or much less if you are a fatty like me.

No joke (and this isn’t just the wine talking), but these are insanely good. The berries, white chocolate, and stretchy marshmallows are a to-die-for combination, and the Strawberry Rice Krispies taste much less artificial when prepared like this. Absolutely heavenly.

You’re welcome.

Burning Questions:

1. Did you really drink an entire bottle of wine? And then some…
2. What would you rate just the cereal? Who cares (5 out of 10).
3. What would you rate Strawberry Rice Krispies Treats? 10 out of 10.

Place of Purchase: Sent to me by Kellogg’s (thanks guys!)

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