Little Debbie Easter Carrot Cake Rolls are back! Please find our review below:

I’ve always said that my wedding cake would be a carrot cake…

I just never thought I’d be marrying Little Debbie.

Little Debbie Carrot Cake Rolls

Now, now, before you call the cops on me, I need you to understand that Little Debbie isn’t fourteen years old… she’s like, sixty four years old. And while that may seem a little past your prime for a fresh marriage, here’s how I know she’s the perfect woman for me:

1. She bakes.
2. That’s all I require.

I have to assume Little Debbie Carrot Cake Rolls are her way of grabbing my attention.

Seriously blows my mind how few carrot cake things come out this time of year. Hershey’s still does the Carrot Cake Kisses, but past that? It’s slim pickings. It’s been five years since Mars did Carrot Cake M&M’s (which were amazing), and almost eight years since Ben & Jerry’s did Carrot Cake ice cream (which I heard was amazing). Why aren’t more companies doing carrot cake when it’s so damn good?

Though our courtship has been all of 42 seconds so far, I know my bride-to-be understands my frustration.

The new rolls look just like the Pumpkin Spice Cake Rolls: brownish-orange cake, white filling, and white icing. Though she forgot the bride and groom topper (my forgetful, sweet little thing), she clearly didn’t forget that I have a massive pumpkin spice fetish and she seems awfully accepting of it.

What a Gal…

Sweet little thing forgot the carrot too. This cake has some nice, soft spice to it: a gentle caress of cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger. But that’s a whole lot like the Pumpkin Spice Rolls, ain’t it?  If these are any different at all – and we’re talking minimal difference on the taste buds – I think I detected a tiny bit more ginger this time around. Ginger isn’t even an ingredient in most carrot cake recipes.

My wonderful, absent-minded, sweet old thing…

But despite tasting good and all, where this “carrot cake” completely falls apart is the icing. I sure love me some sugar and I appreciate that she frosted this cake without any respect for human life, but it’s the same filling all Little Debbie products.  A carrot cake without carrot without cream cheese frosting is no carrot cake at all.

Debs, I love you Baby, but you blew it.

The wedding is off.

Odds She Was Ever Interested Rating: 0 out of 10
Odds I Die Alone Rating: 10 out of 10
Overall Rating: 6.5 out of 10

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