Tonight we explore the greatest debate in human history: “Is Cheesecake cake, or a pie?”
The case for cake:
- It has “cake” in its name.
- It fits in a cake pan.
- A cake of cheese sounds awesome.
The case for pie:
- Cheesecakes don’t have flour.
- They sometimes have a crust.
- It’s essentially just pie filling.
We’ll circle back to this, but first we’re gonna examine if cheesecake can be cookies.
Pillsbury Strawberry Cheesecake Cookies
Pillsbury’s newest limited edition break-and-bake is Strawberry Cheesecake, because this identify crisis needed a new wrinkle.
I mean… cheesecakes are baked sometimes, so why the f*ck not, right? Cookies also have plenty of sugar just like cheesecake and these ones contain fruit just like many cheesecakes do.
I’d say I’d buy it, but I already have…
Pillsbury Strawberry Cheesecake cookies are cheesecake flavored sugar cookies with strawberry-flavored bits. A bit of humor on the package USED to read“PLEASE DO NOT EAT RAW COOKIE DOUGH“, but Pillsbury has traded in funny jokes for a new technology where all of their cookie doughs are legally safe to eat raw. This is accomplished via the use of heat treated flour, pasteurized eggs, and “ready to eat manufacturing”, which… quite frankly, if they have that kind of manufacturing available, I don’t think you need the first two.
To be honest with you, the raw dough doesn’t smell or taste especially special. Though there’s some strawberry powder in the strawberry-flavored bits, I definitely got an artificial strawberry scent that rubbed me the wrong way. Those strawberry bits tasted better than they smelled, but the sugar cookie dough didn’t give me the proper “cheesecake” feels.
There is no cheese of any sort within the cookie.
Luckily the baking process makes the strawberry flavor less taste less artificial, suddenly brightening it. Based on my expectations after eating the dough by itself, I thought these cookies had a dramatic increase when cooked. The most pleasant surprise is that the cookies are softer than most break-and-bakes – even when baked to the maximum recommended cooking time. As if we needed another dessert in this discussion, I felt a little like I was eating a strawberry muffin.
The lack of cheesecake-iness is still the remaining criticism. I could tell that they added some additional flavor to their standard sugar cookie recipe, but not much of it and really a far stretch from cheesecake. I guess you could call it a little tangy but how about some of those cheesecake-flavored chips that we always see in stuff like this?
Very good strawberry sugar cookies, but Pillsbury Strawberry Cheesecake cookies don’t really remind me of cheesecake.
Oh, and back to the “What the hell is cheesecake?” issue. It is neither cake nor pie.
It’s a tart, dumbasses.
Burning Questions:
- What makes it a tart? A pie without a top crust is a tart.
- What about lemon meringue pie? *Lemon meringue tart.
- What is a Boston Cream Pie then? A liar.
Place of Purchase: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
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