Reese’s Thins:

Because’s there’s no wrong way to eat a Reese’s, but also you’re getting kinda fat.

Reese’s Thins

As we all search desperately for some kind of justification for our reckless eating, Reese’s is coming to the rescue with these new Reese’s Thins that are 40% smaller than normal Reese’s, and will take 40% longer to eat an entire bag.

Look… personally? Individually-wrapping smaller Reese’s probably won’t cause me to eat any less garbage than I would in the aggregate. One time when I was on a low-carb kick, I ate only the cheese and toppings off an entire pizza, casting the crust aside to save calories. Minutes later I found myself eating cheese-less, sauce-less pizza crust and I didn’t stop until it was gone. It was by far the stupidest way that I’ve ever eaten a whole pizza.

Sorry Reese’s, but there’s no protecting me from myself.

I will definitely humor you, however, if it means getting to try two new Reese’s products. Reese’s Thins debut in both standard milk chocolate and dark.

Milk Chocolate Reese’s Thins

So Reese’s Thins look like Reese’s that you stepped on. Some people automatically assumed they simply reduced the amount of peanut butter filling, which would be legitimate criminal activity. Best as I can tell, though, both the chocolate and peanut butter have been reduced in similar proportions to maintain the proper ratio – similar to what Oreo does with its Oreo Thins.

You know how Reese’s regular-sized cups have a stiffer, crisp chocolate bite around the edges? That’s the entire Reese’s Thin. The milk chocolate taste the same, as does the peanut butter inside. If you look closely at the above image, you’ll see that the chocolate surrounding the peanut butter is indeed thinner, suggesting that they did reduce this in proper proportions. There’s plenty of peanut butter, and while it seems a little fluffier than usual, they taste just as amazing as Reese’s always did.

Dark Chocolate Reese’s Thins

It’s only on rare occasion that I buy the regular Dark Chocolate Reese’s Cups. It’s not because they’re not great, but whenever I do I’m reminded that I simply prefer the classic, sweeter milk chocolate Reese’s.

Something about the thinner size and crisper texture makes the dark chocolate more appealing, however.

Every time I have a small, individually-wrapped piece of chocolate like these Reese’s Thins, it feels like a fancy little indulgence. Dark chocolate works incredibly well for this purpose. It reminds me of eating something like a Ghirardelli square, where I always prefer the dark chocolate flavors.

Guys, this is the stupidest review I’ve ever written; Reese’s Thins are just smaller Reese’s.

They taste amazing and lose a point simply for being smaller.

You will eat twice as many, or end up stacking two and eat simultaneously because you’re gross.

Kidding Yourself Into Thinking You’re Healthy Rating: 7 out of 10
Revealing Yourself As the Fat Sack of Shit You Always Were: 8 out of 10
Overall Rating: 9 out of 10

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