Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Cookie Straws are back! Please find our review below:
From this point forward, everything I suck into my face is officially pumpkin spice.
Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Cookie Straws
At least that’s the goal with these new Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Cookie Straws.
Here’s how it works:
- Pour your favorite beverage.
- Toss in a pumpkin spice cookie straw.
- Live your best goddamn life.
With plastic straws facing modern backlash due to environmental concerns, completely biodegradable and utterly delicious cookie straws seem to be the perfect solution.
I fully support the elimination of plastic straws, but I swear… if you guys ever take cookies away from me, my riots will do so much harm to the environment that you will regret ever trying to make the world a better place.
Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Cookie Straws are sold at Walmart and some other grocery stores, but not Starbucks.
Inside each toasted rolled wafer cookie is a layer of white chocolatey filling with a hint of pumpkin spice. The straws are made by the same makers of Pirouline rolled wafers, so those of you familiar with their products should know exactly how these are constructed.
With a surprisingly sturdy crunch, Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Cookie Straws feature a slightly flaky outer wafer and an inner tube of flavored white confectionary coating. The inner white “chocolate” is a little creamy, but really not that creamy. It’s constructed well in such a way that liquid can travel safely through the straw into my increasingly impatient gullet.
The pumpkin spice flavoring is pretty strong, too. Just be warned that this pumpkin is almost entirely artificial; the last two ingredients are merely “pumpkin spice flavoring”, and cinnamon. But even a mediocre, fake pumpkin spice flavor is better than 90% of all flavorings that exist in the wild.
But enough beating around the bush… how do Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Cookie straws fare AS straws?
First I tried some Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Coffee with pumpkin coffee creamer through a pumpkin spice cookie straw.
This was unpleasantly hot, because hot coffee is not meant to be sipped through a straw. It was also delicious, because pumpkin spice coffee is the best.
To my dismay, though, the pumpkin spice cookie straw didn’t impart any additional flavor to the beverage. Maybe this was wishful thinking on my part because I’m an idiot.
Next I sought to confirm this by using the cookie straw to drink some otherwise flavorless water.
Confirmed. The water tastes terrible, because water is not pumpkin-spiced.
But now I have 19 more pumpkin spiced cookie straws, so I tried it with other beverages.
Like this Zesty Blood Orange Diet Coke…
This was better because Diet Coke tastes better than water. But sadly, it was not Pumpkin Spiced Coca Cola (which needs to exist, like, yesterday).
It was about this time that I realized the hot coffee had completely dismantled my cookie straw.
Okay, these are pretty terrible straws and only pretty good cookies.
Burning Questions:
- How much do these cost? $6.99
- Are they worth it? Eh.
- Are these straws good for the environment? Who cares.
Place of Purchase: Walmart, CVS
Rating: 6.5 out of 10
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Cookie straws* to protect the environment from plastic straws!
* Each cookie individually wrapped in plastic.
They’re meant to be eaten like a cookie, not used to flavor drinks.
and wow individually wrapped? that is some serious wastefulness