Now you can enjoy all the joy of eating shitty overpriced ice cream without having to go to Six Flags Great Adventure to get it!
General Mills Dippin’ Dots Cereal
New General Mills Dippin’ Dots Cereal is here, because why the hell not? Dots are circular, cereal can be circular… seems about as good a reason as any to get this partnership done.
I mean, I just can’t pretend to be especially excited about Dippin’ Dots specifically. The last time I had it was when I was in a lengthy line for a waterslide when I was like ten years old. It’s a fairly fond memory, but unless this cereal tastes slightly of chlorine and causes me to get out of breath because there are like three stairs before the slide, I don’t think I’ll feel especially nostalgic.
My favorite thing about these cereals, therefore, are that there are no backs to the boxes – only two fronts.
See what I mean?
It’s the same picture, but you get it.
We’ll start with cookies, because you should always.
Dippin’ Dots Cereal – Cookies ‘n Cream
General Mills Cookies ‘n Cream Dippin’ Dots Cereal
The General Mills Cookies ‘n Cream Dippin’ Dots cereal has whole grain corn pieces, plus cookies and cream flavored clusters. The clusters are one of the best things that has ever happened to cereal. Unfortunately, they are in a very bland cereal.
The corn pieces – both beige and brown – taste like Kix with less flavor. Had the brown pieces had a cocoa dusting like Cocoa Puffs, I believe this cereal would have benefitted greatly.
The cookies and cream clusters are amazing – crunchy with a chocolate cookie flavor. Unfortunately there aren’t enough and they WILL all settle at the bottom of this enormous family-sized trap. I poured a full bowl off the top and had exactly zero clusters. I had to go mining for them and place them atop this ramekin just so you could see what they were.
I guess we’ll call it: “Enlarged to show existence.”
The entire cereal – including the clusters – has less flavor in milk. Very disappointing overall.
Burning Questions:
- Why all the hate for Dippin’ Dots? They’re like licking an ice cube.
- What do you mean? They stick to my tongue and they’re just ok.
- But… but I love Dippin’ Dots. I’m sorry?
Rating: 4.5 out of 10
Dippin’ Dots Cereal – Banana Split
General Mills Banana Split Dippin’ Dots Cereal
The General Mills Banana Split Dippin’ Dots cereal has whole grain corn pieces as well: the same two as before, plus a strawberry flavored puff, and then banana split flavored clusters. The strawberry puffs actually have flavor, and due to proximity, everything tastes like strawberry.
The all-strawberry issue isn’t as glaring as in Puffs Ice Cream Scoops, and though it’s a lighter flavor, it’s actually a more natural-tasting strawberry flavor.
It’s like Cap’n Crunch Berries, without the fun.
I grew tired of this pretty quickly. The banana split clusters taste like strawberry more than anything too, but some banana notes begin to surface. Again, compare this banana cereal to the Nilla Wafer Banana Pudding Cereal, and there is no comparison at all.
In milk I “got” this cereal more than the Cookies ‘n Cream version, but I have exactly zero intentions of ever buying it again.
I guess if you want shitty ice cream, just go buy some shitty ice cream.
Burning Questions:
- Hey… would you lay off my Dippin’ Dots?No.
- What are the clusters made out of?Science.
- Where did you get these? The Walmart that’s next to Six Flags Great Adventure.
Rating: 5.5 out of 10
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