Happy National Cereal Day! I could not conjure a better excuse to finally publish this review of Very Berry Cheerios that I wrote in December. 

Reading consumer interests is no joke, and I’d like to open with a shoutout to the cereal suits tasked with figuring us the f*ck out.

I grew up in an era where most kids ate sugary cereals for breakfast on the daily. I ate more of it than most people and got extremely overweight and made fun of constantly by everyone, but a moderate serving size was good enough to put a smile on most kids’ faces.

These days, parents are more proactive than ever in protecting the health of their children. They want to serve food made with adult stuff like real fruit and whole grain oats and tilapia. So cereal companies adapt by making products like this piece of work:

General Mills Very Berry Cheerios

General Mills Very Berry Cheerios is the latest in a long line of berry-centric Cheerios that just can’t seem to last.

Here it goes: Berry Burst Triple Berry Cheerios, Berry Burst Strawberry Cheerios, Berry Burst Strawberry Banana Cheerios, Yogurt Burst Strawberry Cheerios, Yogurt Burst Blueberry Cheerios, and just regular Strawberry Cheerios have all existed and then met their maker. Only that last one was limited edition by design; the rest were killed off prematurely.

This is the dilemma facing cereal companies: Kids want their cereal to taste like sugar, while parents want their kids to live past 40.

But today? Perhaps Very Berry Cheerios stands a chance. We live in an era where most adults ain’t got no time to cook themselves a proper breakfast. This might interest them as a smart buy for the entire family. They derive their flavor from strawberry, blueberry, raspberry, and cranberry powders. Ya know, #Health stuff.

Plus a little sugar for the kids. ?

Very Berry Cheerios definitely taste on the healthier side. The authentic taste of natural fruit greets you immediately. I think we can all appreciate this pairing with Cheerios. You ever been stuck with a box of PLAIN Cheerios before? You gotta dress that shit up with fresh cut strawberries, bananas, or whatever the fruit your Mom & Dad bought because we both know damn well know you didn’t buy it yourself. The combinations usually work quite well.

With Very Berry Cheerios, the berry flavors you experience vary from bite to bite. The ones I got most often were raspberry and blueberry. The cereal is semi-sweet with a gentle tartness to it. The Cheerios weren’t quite as sweet as Strawberry Cheerios from this past summer. I felt like the fruit flavors cut off suddenly just before they would normally finish sweet, and the distinctive glazed oat flavor of the Cheerios kicks in.

General Mills Very Berry Cheerios definitely improves in milk. The natural sweetness from the dairy filled in that gap of sweetness I was missing when eaten dry. The fruit flavor definitely amplifies as you let them soak, both in the cereal on your spoon and in the residual milk.

We’re not breaking new ground here, but Very Berry Cheerios delivers exactly what it advertises. It’s basically Smoothie Fruit Cheerios – just count your blessings there’s no kale here. I’m happy to welcome its permanent addition to the Cheerios family. And when I say permanent, of course, I mean this will soon be discontinued like all the other Cheerios that died before it.

RIP.

How Many Years This Will Last Rating: Historically About 1 out of 10
How Many Cheerios Had to Die for This Rating: 7ish out of 10
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10

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