I’ve always wanted to eat the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, and tonight I will finally get to. We conclude The Week Where I Only Ate Twinkies with the new Hostess White Fudge Marshmallow Twinkies!
Hostess White Fudge Marshmallow Twinkies
Hostess White Fudge Marshmallow Twinkies are the Ghostbuster tie-in Twinkies that actually make sense. The others were those dreadful that tried to give nod to Slimer. Since Slimer isn’t a flavor, Hostess used the only green-flavored thing they could think of – key lime, which doesn’t belong anywhere near a Twinkie. The result was sour Twinkies.
The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, on the other hand, is a flavor. I don’t know anything about his history, but I do know that he’s a gargantuan monster comprised entirely of marshmallow. Tonight, my fat kid fantasy comes true, since Hostess has cut him up into thousands of pieces and shipped him all over the country.
They’re hideous.
Hostess White Fudge Marshmallow Twinkies are really fat, so they definitely share a likeness with the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man as well as me after my third consecutive Twinkie review this week. This is the first Twinkie to be covered in a white fudge instead of regular chocolate, and they also include a marshmallow topping and creamy filling. I had to find out exactly what was going on with that weird, bulbous thing on top, so I sliced off the top layer and much to my delight:
There is indeed a thick ass slab of marshmallow resting atop the Twinkie! It’s stretchy as a marshmallow should be, and tastes just as a marshmallow should. I’ve got to give Hostess credit for layering this creation with a plentiful amount of real marshmallow, especially after the strawberry topping in the Banana Split Twinkies left much to be desired. So how does the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man taste?
Like sugar. Hostess White Fudge Marshmallow Twinkies are designed for the sweetest of sweet tooths (sweet teeth?). If you’ve got a hankering for some sugar, this is a safe bet. The white fudge coating is of the same quality you would find coated on a white chocolate Easter egg candy by brands such as Russell Stover. There is a lot of thick white fudge here, so absolutely avoid these if you’re not a fan of white chocolate. I enjoy white chocolate, but…
The problem with Hostess White Fudge Marshmallow Twinkies is redundancy. I just mentioned how proud I was of Hostess for using a lot of marshmallow, but I can’t taste it as a distinct flavor. In fact, I can’t really taste anything but the white fudge coating. There’s the slightest touch of the ho-hum pound cake flavor synonymous with a Twinkie, but it’s overpowered by the thick shield of white fudge. Texturally, these are a train wreck. The outside coating is stiff, the marshmallow layer is rubbery, and the inside is wet from the creme. Weird.
Hostess White Fudge Marshmallow Twinkies aren’t awful, but are victims to their own design: the white fudge coating is milky and sweet, a marshmallow always taste creamy and sweet, and the Twinkie creme is literally just sweet cream. These are, more accurately, White Chocodile Twinkies. I had no problem knocking one back, but I felt no desire to have another.
In summary, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man isn’t as delicious as he looks.
Finally Fulfilling A Fat Childhood Fantasy Rating: 8 out of 10
Alliteration in Rating #1 Rating: 7 out of 10
Overall Rating: 6.5 out of 10
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