REVIEW: Toasted Coconut Oreos
Because I can’t think of a good hook for tonight’s review, here are the five best coconut jokes I could find on the Internet:
5) What did one coconut say to the other? “Got milk?”
4) Why don’t coconuts have money? Because people milk them dry.
3) Why didn’t the coconut go to the ballet? It was afraid of the nutcracker.
2) What do you call a coconut that doesn’t give milk? A milk dud.
1) My friend said onions are the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
Really, those were the best…
Coconut is a very polarizing flavor. You either love coconut or hate coconut. Nothing in between is possible. The correct answer, of course, is that coconut is amazing. As a cream, it’s a great vehicle for getting us drunk. Its water is great at curing our hangovers when we’ve had too many. Its oil is good for just about everything. Best of all, it tastes incredible despite what 50% of the population would have you believe.
Nabisco released these Toasted Coconut Oreos without any fanfare whatsoever. When Pumpkin Spice Oreos made their triumphant return to U.S. markets this week, these Toasted Coconut Oreos stood alongside them for some reason. These would have made a lot more sense released alongside Key Lime Pie Oreos. The timing of their release is suspect, but Nabisco has demonstrated that they’re bat sh*t crazy before.
The packaging for these Toasted Coconut Oreos reveal that they’re made with real toasted coconut flakes and a toasted coconut flavored cream. When you open the package, it’s as if somebody knocked you in the head with an actual coconut. There’s no mistake about this aroma – it’s coco-NUTS. The cream is very sweet and speckled with real bits of toasted coconut that add both brilliant flavor and extra grit to each bite.
I tried the cookie by itself expecting the standard golden vanilla Oreo wafer. I need a second opinion here, but the wafers taste as if dried coconut or coconut extract was baked right in. I thought my mind was playing tricks on me, but after eating an alarming amount of Oreo wafers by themselves, I’m pretty confident these wafers are flavored with coconut as well. It’s a subtle but magical addition if true, and an impressive mind trip if not.
Eaten together with the sweet cream, these Toasted Coconut Oreos taste like eating a crunchy, portable version of a coconut cream pie. Coconut and vanilla are a match made in Heaven, and Nabisco struck the perfect balance here. They’re not Marshmallow Crispy good, but what is?
The Entire Universe’s Ability To Make A Good Coconut Joke Rating: 1.5 out of 10
How Many F*cks Nabisco Gives About Timeliness: 0 out of 10
Overall Rating: 9 out of 10