REVIEW: Pillsbury Grands! Pumpkin Spice Rolls
*UPDATE*: Pillsbury Grands! Pumpkin Spice Rolls are back on shelves! The review that follows was originally published on September 23, 2015. Photos have been updated to show the 2016 packaging.
Let it be known that the Pillsbury Dough Boy is no longer a boy at all.
Popping’ Fresh, the Pillsbury Dough Boy, was born all the way back in 1965 when he leapt out of a can of refrigerated biscuits. He proudly announced both of his names and immediately got to work. In the fifty years that have passed, Mr. Fresh has been dominating all things bakeable. We have a ton of respect for the guy.
Or should I say girl?
As it would turn out, the Pillsbury Dough Boy is just another basic white girl who loves pumpkin as much as I do. And the similarities don’t end there either. Since starting this blog, I’ve also turned into an amorphous blob of marshmallow fluff who giggles when you poke my tummy. My respect for her is growing as quickly as my ass is. Her latest idea to infuse a Cinnabon with pumpkin spice demonstrates that she’s still got it at Age 50.
The package warns not to eat raw dough – a warning I did not see until after I ate the raw dough. The most difficult part is the wait. The fresh scent of cinnamon enveloped my entire life for 25-29 minutes. Having just worked out and rocking a ferocious appetite, this was too much for me. I ate two pumpkin spice Oreos, a pumpkin macaron, and a handful of pumpkin spice latte M&Ms to get myself ready. #IIFYM?
Whatever, I barely even know what that means…
Even before you add the icing, these Pillsbury Grands Pumpkin Spice Rolls look so Poppin’ Fresh and So Clean, Clean. Once you dress them with icing, though, they look Poppin’ Fresh to Death. ?
Oh my. This icing is a bold pumpkin spice blend with a butt-ton of sweetness. The spices are deep and delicious. The cinnamon rolls themselves are buttery and flaky- everything you’ve come to expect from the Pillsbury Dough Girl. When you eat the top of the cinnamon rolls, the highly sweetened pumpkin spice icing is mellowed by the buttery dough to a very pleasing level.
The frosted parts of these Pillsbury Grands Pumpkin Spice Rolls are pumpk-incredible. The problem here is there isn’t enough icing to go around. The bottom 2/3rds of these gigantic cinnamon rolls will not see the likes of your pumpkin icing, because you couldn’t stop yourself from devouring the surface area of the top portion. There’s simply too much dough on each roll once you properly ration the icing provided.
Left on its own, the cinnamon roll doesn’t have quite enough cinnamon to be anything other than a solid, biscuity base. I remedied this by eating five cinnamon roll tops, and I feel like I am a better (bigger) man for it.
Pillsbury Grands! Pumpkin Spice Rolls are a fantastic concept and are mostly delicious, but the execution could have been a little better. I guess we should give Poppin’ Fresh a break. She is getting older, after all.
Ability to Change the Gender of a National Treasure Rating: 9 out of 10
Ability to Turn You Into An Amorphous Blob Rating: Too Late out of 10
Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10
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