Valentines Day’s is great! Love is everywhere you look, and what’s better than love? Here are some highlights from a typical Valentine’s Day:
- Breakfast in bed.
- Flowers & candy.
- Romantic dinner.
- Dirty, dirty sex stuff.
- Me eating cupcakes in my basement while you enjoy everything above.
Tonight I’m going to celebrate Valentine’s Day the Junk Male way a full month early with these new Hostess Dark Chocolate Raspberry Cupcakes!
Hostess has been going absolutely HAM with limited edition cupcakes, but results have been rather inconsistent in my opinion. The Hostess Pumpkin Spice Cupcakes were one of my favorite pumpkin products of 2015, while the Hostess Candy Corn Cupcakes were stuffed with lies and disappointment (REVIEW: A Whole Bunch of Cupcakes That I Ate). I also enjoyed the Hostess Merry Minty Cupcakes, even if they were nothing spectacular (REVIEW: More Cupcakes I Ate). With the release of these Hostess Dark Chocolate Raspberry cupcakes in mid-December, we had our first official Valentine’s Day release as evidenced by all of the hearts on the package. The combination of dark chocolate & raspberries is a classic food pairing that is symbolic for Bow Chicka Wow Wow.
I could be wrong and don’t care to fact check, but I think this is the first time Hostess has gone the dark chocolate route with any of their snack cakes. The description of the Hostess Dark Chocolate Raspberry Cupcakes is: “Frosted Dark Chocolate Cake with artificially flavored Raspberry Creamy Filling). Note that the filling is “creamy,” not to be confused with actual cream. But of significance is that actual raspberries are an ingredient and they’re pretty damn high on the list, appearing even before the first mention of cocoa. No word on how they accomplished this as the ingredient list doesn’t separate the cake ingredients from the filling ingredients, but the description would have you believe it’s limited to the “creamy.”
I first sampled the new dark chocolate cake on these Hostess Dark Chocolate Raspberry Cupcakes. I’m not blown away. It’s definitely different than the standard chocolate cake that Hostess typically uses. I get what they went for with dark chocolate – it’s a more bitter cocoa than a sweet one; a little salty even. I miss the sweetness, but thankfully the frosted topping has plenty of sugar to balance this out. Diving into the creamy filling, I’m greeted with the glaring artificial flavor element. As far as fake raspberry goes, though, they did about as good of as job as one could hope for. It’s a smooth berry flavor that I wouldn’t confuse with strawberry or goji berry or yumberry or dumberry – it’s raspberry.
I’m still a little confused… Real raspberries were high on the ingredient list, but the box describes artificially flavored raspberry creamy filling. I didn’t pick up on any authentic raspberry in the cake nor the filling- just a pretty darn good but definitely artificial raspberry creation. These cupcakes are plenty fresh as Hostess Cupcakes usually are, featuring a soft cupcake base, stiff frosting, and the creamy center. The sum of all the elements is greater than the parts. The flavor of these Hostess Dark Chocolate Raspberry Cupcakes when eaten in one gigantic bite reminds me of those Chocolate Covered Jelly Rings that sustained me as a kid; I used to put them on all of my fingers (meaning I would eat 10) until the age where my fat thumbs would no longer fit through the center.
I think Hostess Dark Chocolate Raspberry Cupcakes are pretty neat, but they kind of missed the mark on the dark chocolate. I wouldn’t give this to a significant other to wow her on Valentine’s Day; you’ll definitely end up in the dog house if you do. I did give one to my Dad though, and he loved it. Hi, Dad.
Odds My Dad is Reading This Rating: 0.5 out of 10 (I force him to sometimes)
Odds Of Me Having A Valentine This Year Rating: LOL out of 10
Overall Rating: 6.5 out of 10