REVIEW: OhYeah! ONE Bars
*UPDATED* This review was originally published on January 14, 2016. It has since been updated to include each new OhYeah! ONE bar released since that date. The newest addition to this post is the Key Lime Pie bar. Please find my review and rankings below.
Hi, #fitfam. Former Quest Bar loyalist here. Today we will be reviewing every single OhYeah! ONE Bar ever created. But first, let’s explore how we got here.
If you’ve ever stepped foot into a gym, nutrition store, airport, grocery store, convenience store, browsed the Internet at all, or stalked anyone in yoga pants long enough, you’re definitely familiar with Quest Bars. I first discovered Quest Bars over two years ago when I was on the strictest of diet regimens and wanted the cheat meal without the cheating. I instantly became obsessed. Auto-delivery. One bar a day. Then two bars a day. To this day, I still enjoy plenty of Quest Bars, though my diet has relaxed just a tad.
(See Also: Review of Every Quest Bar Ever Created)
Then something terrible happened. In August 2015, Quest announced that it had changed its prebiotic fiber source from isomalto-oligosaccharides (IMOs) to soluble corn fiber. People were piiiissed. Here’s what we know about IMOs: (1) nothing, and (2) we want them back. Some people said the new bars tasted awful. Others said they couldn’t notice a difference. I go back and forth, and quite frankly I don’t know what’s what any more. Adding to my confusion, I used to know all the macros for each bar by heart; then those changed, too. My entire life spiraled out of control.
While telling this tale to a Vitamin Shoppe sales rep who definitely wasn’t interested in my life story, she recommended I try OhYeah! ONE bars. I didn’t hear a word she said, but I bought a couple of bars anyway because she was cute (Hi Lauren). My first OhYeah! ONE bar was Lemon Cake. Excellent. Then OhYeah! ONE Peanut Butter Pie. Okay – we’re on to something here. And then the Internet dropped OhYeah! ONE Birthday Cake all over my face. If you’ve read my full review of that bar, you’ll understand why I want to give out OhYeah! ONE Birthday Cake as party favors for all of the guests at my funeral.
Today we run through every OhYeah! ONE Bar to see how the full lineup fares. What do I gain by doing this? Nothing.
I’ll be ranking all fifteen flavors from my favorite to least. Here’s the brief scouting report: OhYeah! ONE Bars are produced by OhYeah! Nutrition. All bars are between 210-230 calories and feature roughly 20-22g of protein (whey protein isolate & milk protein isolate), 22-25g of carbs, 7-9g of fat, and 9-10 g of fiber. They’re gluten-free and contain no GMOs. They have but 1 gram of sugar – hence the ONE name. But today I’ll be consuming a total of 16g of sugar along and over 300g of protein because I will be eating all of them for no reason at all.
Let’s pray my plumber can mobilize quickly.
1) Birthday Cake: No surprises here. This is the bar that made me fall in love with the brand. “Confectioner’s glaze” is one of the greatest word pairings in the English language. OhYeah! ONE Birthday Cake uses confectioner’s glaze and tastes like straight vanilla frosting and sprinkles. Though it may look like a unicorn’s turd, the sprinkles on OhYeah! One Birthday Cake make for a delightful textural contrast up against the soft chew of the bar itself. So many products claim to taste like birthday cake and do not – OhYeah! One Birthday Cake tastes exactly like funfetti cake. The only kind of cake that I like better than this is the one that Rihanna sings about; even then, it’s close.
2) Maple Glazed Donut: I guess glaze is their specialty. I pretty much eat donuts for a living, so believe me when I say that OhYeah! ONE killed it with their Maple Glazed Donut Bar. The bar tastes genuinely of maple syrup without being too sweet; it’s probably their most balanced bar. It really did remind me of a cake donut too – one with a touch of cinnamon. A doughnut flavor hasn’t been tackled by any protein bar company before, adding to its novelty. I almost ranked this one above Birthday Cake but sometimes it’s hard to let go of your first love.
3) Almond Bliss: There is absolutely no way this bar is good for you, but ignorance is bliss. First off, OhYeah! ONE Almond Bliss is completely enrobed in chocolate. Next, OhYeah! ONE Almond Bliss has 3 almonds just hanging out on top (don’t mind us), which are also covered in chocolate. Finally, we have coconut for days. Put it altogether and OhYeah! ONE Almond Bliss tastes like an Almond Joy and chews like a Samoa Girl Scout cookie sans the caramel. You might just bust a nut when you get to an almond. My ONE complaint is that the coconut could be a tiny bit sweeter, but we’re trying to be healthy today. Only 2,200 calories to go!
4) Peanut Butter Pie: There is no such thing as a good peanut butter protein bar… at least that’s how I felt up until I tried OhYeah! ONE Peanut Butter Pie. This bar is a peanut butter lover’s dream – it uses a trifecta of peanut butter, peanut flour, and peanuts to achieve its greatness. OhYeah! ONE Peanut Butter Pie tastes equal parts salty, sweet, nutty, and roasty. It’s so smooth and velvety that it does lend itself to a peanut butter pie. Since my normal pre-workout routine was to make pies from scratch and then eat them, OhYeah! ONE Peanut Butter Pie will make for far more efficient fuel on Leg Day.
5) Chocolate Birthday Cake: If OhYeah! ONE Birthday Cake is a funfetti cake, the OhYeah! ONE Chocolate Birthday Cake is a Devil’s food cake. You know how chocolate is good with just about everything? Same rule applies here. The chocolatey version of the birthday cake has a deep, rich cocoa profile with traces of vanilla. We’ve got more confectioner’s glaze, more sprinkles, and more Happy Birthday deliciousness. Just like the OG version, the inside of the OhYeah! ONE Chocolate Cake is so soft and airy and that translates wonderfully for chocolate cake. This is the best pure chocolate bar by the brand, but it ranks behind the original because it’s not breaking new ground. You know what’s breaking ground? Me when I walk anywhere these days.
6) Cinnamon Roll: If you’re reading a lengthy protein bar review, chances are you haven’t had a Cinnabon in a while. The next time your knees buckle when you enter the mall and are assaulted by the scent of fresh baked Cinnabons, reach for the OhYeah! ONE Cinnamon Roll bar to recover. It captures the dessert better than any cinnamon protein bar on the market. The taste of buttery dough is omnipresent, the cinnamon isn’t overpowering, and the sweetness of vanilla glaze is just right. Its greatest strength is its balance, something you definitely need in your life if you read every paragraph of a protein bar review and then torture yourself looking at pictures of Twinkies on my blog.
7) Blueberry Cobbler: Well, we had to have some fruit today didn’t we? OhYeah! ONE Blueberry Cobbler comes hard on blueberry – slightly tart, slightly sweet, authentic, delicious. It’s another outstanding addition to the lineup, even if the white coating makes this feel more like blueberries & cream than it does cobbler. There’s no flavor of butter or streusel or cinnamon or anything like that. Relax, we’re moving onto cake in a second.
8) Lemon Cake: Bear with me. I know that the word “lemon” makes you cringe because you’ve definitely spent a few days drinking nothing but lemon water, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup in attempt to fix an entire lifetime of terrible decisions. But OhYeah! ONE Lemon Cake is out of this world good. I don’t even love lemon cake, but I’m in love with OhYeah! ONE Lemon Cake. This bar blends the sourness of lemons with a gentle vanilla creaminess to create a true diamond in the rough. OhYeah! ONE Lemon Cake is light & refreshing, yet still manages to be quite indulgent. If you’re afraid of this one because it doesn’t have chocolate, don’t be such a sour-pussy.
9) Salted Caramel: OhYeah! ONE Salted Caramel fills a void left by many top competitors, as neither Quest, Combat Crunch, or FIT Crunch offers a caramel flavor. This bar performs very admirably with an accurate caramel taste. Despite being accurate, the caramel is only moderate – this bar would rank much higher had it been more intense. It finishes with the familiar ONE sweetness common to all their bars, but also a dash of salt. Remember salt? You gave it up when you started this stupid diet. Also your social life. You’re doing great though!
10) Mint Chocolate Chip: OhYeah! ONE Mint Chocolate Chip is another great-tasting bar that is quite different than the Mint Chocolate Chunk Quest Bar, which I ranked as my favorite. If the Quest Bar is the Thin Mint Cookie of protein bars, OhYeah! ONE Mint Chocolate Chip is the ice cream version of its namesake. While the mint is more mild than in Quest’s, the bar blends chocolate and mint together in a charming ratio with a silky texture ala ice cream. Hey, whenever your protein bar can trick you into thinking you’re eating ice cream and make you temporarily forget you can only eat half a rice cake for dinner, it’s doing something right.
11) Chocolate Brownie: The most chocolatey of the offerings by a landslide, OhYeah! ONE Chocolate Brownie tastes like a milk chocolate candy bar more than it does a protein bar. That’s good news if your spirit animal is also Chunk from The Goonies. OhYeah! ONE Chocolate Brownie is rich and luscious and wonderful. A touch of added saltiness might be a mere suggestion of “brownie,” but I’m not going to complain about any excuse to eat chocolate instead of another bowl of egg whites. This bar gets brownie points for having tiny chocolatey bits just so you can feel something… anything.
12) Pumpkin Pie (seasonal): OhYeah! favored sweet over spice, so I hope you like whipped cream with your pumpkin pie (you do). A satisfying cinnamon flavor is the primary compliment to a creamy vanilla sweetness. While it’s the best pumpkin protein bar in the game currently, OhYeah! ONE Pumpkin Pie is not without its flaws. The remaining spices are hard to identify. Is it that difficult to sprinkle nutmeg, ginger, allspice, & cloves into the recipe? I genuinely don’t know… if it were up to me, I would dump some whey into a slice of pumpkin pie and stick a wrapper on it. Word to the wise: do not take fitness advice from a guy who runs a junk food blog. As a pumpkin spice lover, this bar could have been so much more.
13) Key Lime Pie (seasonal): The first key lime pie protein bar I can recall, ONE brands got the tart lime right in this one. A truly accurate lime flavor is the first thing to greet you with OhYeah! ONE Key Lime Pie. While it’s certainly pleasant, the sweetness never quite materializes to fully pass as key lime pie filling or whipped cream. There’s also no graham component or any play on crust. This bar would be a killer with a little more sugar, but hey… I guess that’s why they don’t call them TWO bars or THREE bars. (I hate myself).
14) White Chocolate Raspberry: Whereas Quest White Chocolate Raspberry is sweet, OhYeah! ONE White Chocolate Raspberry is tart. This bar has a bona fide raspberry flavor right down to that little bit of sour. With the creamy glazed coating, OhYeah! ONE White Chocolate Raspberry takes on a fruity and tangy sherbet vibe. Unfortunately, this bar completely misses the mark on the white chocolate. In fact, there’s no cocoa or anything close to it on the ingredient list. To be clear, there is no natural raspberry either, but the natural and artificial flavoring translates more to the raspberry than it does the white chocolate. All is not lost, though; OhYeah! ONE White Chocolate Raspberry kind of tastes like Fruity Pebbles, so eat lots of this bar if you want to look like Shaq.
15) Cookie Dough: OhYeah! ONE Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough features a decent balance of sweet and salty like a cookie ought to be. There’s an underlying butteriness to this bar that stands out when compared to other flavors. OhYeah! ONE Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough suffers from the lack of chocolate chips or any crunchy bits to break up the soft texture. Perhaps I’ve been eating too much Gourmet Edible Cookie Dough (I have), but OhYeah! One Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough left some to be desired. Stick with Quest Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough if you crave a cookie fix but your normal diet only allows you to eat lettuce or anything from that article on how Chris Pratt got ripped for “Guardians of the Galaxy.”
16) Cookies & Creme: I think they forgot the cookies. OhYeah! ONE Cookies & Creme is so silky and sweet that I feel like I’m drinking heavy cream, which is unnecessary because that’s exactly what I’m washing this review down with anyway. It has an artificially vanilla flavor that would make it your typical sandwich cookie creme, but it’s hyper sweet – a bit heavy on the sucralose. There’s cocoa powder in OhYeah! ONE Cookies & Cream, but I don’t taste much of it. If this is an Oreo – it’s more like the Golden Oreo. The little chocolate bits inside OhYeah! ONE Cookies & Creme don’t impact the flavor or texture – one of the best elements in Quest’s Cookies & Creme. I didn’t cookies & cream my pants over this bar – a joke that still hasn’t gotten old and that you haven’t seen the last of, either.
Across the board, OhYeah! ONE Bars are an outstanding option for protein bar junkies. I’ve got them ranked above Quest Bars in light of some of the changes made to Quest’s original formula. It’s interesting that some of the most impressive OhYeah! ONE flavors are the ones where Quest misses and vice versa. That said, their offerings complement one another and I am happy to add OhYeah! ONE Bars to my regular rotation.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go die because I am positive you cannot digest this much protein at once.
My Understanding of IMOs and Soluble Corn Fiber Rating: 0.5 out of 10
Odds I Wake Up Tomorrow Morning Rating: ONE out of 10
OhYeah! ONE Bars Overall Rating: 8 out of 10
Since many people have asked where I get my OhYeah! ONE bars, I simply ordered mine off Amazon.com. You can order them in boxes of 12 here! http://amzn.to/1UUSrFv. Alternatively, Vitamin Shoppe and GNC both carry many of their flavors.
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