REVIEW: Red Velvet Oreos
Traditionally, I like to open my Oreo reviews by telling five jokes about the flavor that I stole straight off the Internet. Unfortunately, there are no such jokes for red velvet. So here are the five best I could come up with on the fly:
5) What do you call a red velvet cake without any real buttermilk frosting? Dumb.
4) What do you call a dumb red velvet cake? Chocolate.
3) Why was red velvet taken off the menu? It got a red card.
2) What’s red velvet’s favorite color? 40.
1) Why couldn’t the pink velvet get the recipe right? She wasn’t well-red.
Nabisco released Red Velvet Oreos in February of 2015 just in time for Valentine’s Day – a popular time to cash in on the recent red velvet trend. Red Velvet Oreos were a significant release for Nabisco because they marked the first time the cookie wafer was a different than the standard Chocolate or Golden Oreo. Now I won’t pretend that I didn’t try one… exactly one. Red Velvet Oreos were originally released during a time when I exercised a soul-crushingly strict diet. Oreos were a very rare treat for me – now they are breakfast. Last year, nobody heard my opinion on Red Velvet Oreos because I didn’t publish my thoughts on the matter. This year, nobody will hear my opinion because nobody reads my published thoughts on the matter.
Nabisco Red Velvet Oreos must have been well-received because they are no longer limited edition. Like Cinnamon Bun Oreos (which I loved), they are here to stay for the time being. Red Velvet Oreos feature two chocolate wafers injected with Red 40 surrounding a cream cheese flavored cream. Opening the package, this aroma is not the same as regular Oreos. Anyone who would argue otherwise doesn’t stick their faces into Oreo packages as often as I do. These Red Velvet Oreos smell sour. Calm your butts – sour is a good thing here, because these smell sour in the exact same way that cream cheese does. On top of that, Red Velvet Oreos smell like a richer, more inviting chocolate than the deeper cocoa in the standard Oreo cookie. Honestly… it smells like cake.
Unless you’re blind, it’s clear that the cookie wafers are red. But the packaging doesn’t indicate that they’re flavored any differently than the standard Oreo wafer, so I tried it alone first. My verdict? Difficult to describe. They’re in the same vein as the chocolate Oreo cookie, but distinctly less bitter. That said, I didn’t necessarily find them to be sweeter, either. It’s just a slightly different chocolate that feels a bit more sophisticated yet kind of unspectacular. I have no idea what I’m talking about…
The creme in the Red Velvet Oreo is much easier to describe. It’s exceptional on it’s own. I’m a well-documented red velvet skeptic, but this creme is the best commercial interpretation of red velvet cake frosting I’ve had to date. It’s sugary like a buttercream frosting but tangy like a cream cheese frosting. No matter how you like your red velvet cake frosting (outside of lying, cheating vanilla), this taste will be familiar. The creme is fluffier than in the regular Oreo and Nabisco really crammed a LOT of it in there. Beautifully done.
Eating the Red Velvet Oreo as a whole, the creme remains the defining trait. The tang is leveled out a bit by the wafer, but the overall package reminds me of red velvet cake in impressive fashion. The non-bitter, not-overly-sweetened cookie brings a floury element to the mix to convince you this is a cake-flavored cookie. The creme is so spot-on that if you put these between two of the standard Oreo cookie wafers, I think this would still be successful. Having just mowed through an entire row (no exaggeration), the subtle differences between this and the chocolate Oreo become increasingly apparent and appreciated.
Unlike the red-headed stepchild, we welcome Red Velvet Oreos to the family.
Fluffiness Of The Cream Rating: 8 out of 10
Fluffiness Of Junk Male After Eating 1/3 of the Package Rating: 9.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 8.5 out of 10
To read more thoughts on Red Velvet Oreos from other sites we like, here are three reviews that are better than this one: