REVIEW: Fiber One 90 Calorie S’mores Bars
A famous food blogger once wrote: “Marshmallows taste like poop.” (Junk Male, 2015) Tonight, a famous food blogger is going to eat marshmallows in order to poop. Introducing Fiber One 90 Calorie S’mores Bars!
Ya’ll know I’m just playing. While I don’t care for marshmallows as a standalone snack, I adore them in s’mores. Companies have been painting the town s’mores of late, with products like peanut butter, pretzels, and cookies all getting the s’mores treatment. But you know what all of these products lack? Fiber. As if the entire country simultaneously forgot how to poop as God intended, Americans are just obsessed with their fiber intake all of a sudden. Normally, we have to turn to things like bran and fruit and real food to get adequate fiber into our diets. With these new Fiber One 90 Calorie S’mores Bars, we can get our fiber via junk food… or at least a pseudo-health food that’s flavored like junk food… or is it just junk food that’s pretending to be health food? Whatever. S’mores!
Fiber One 90 Calorie S’mores Bars are soft-baked bars that are 90 calories each and contain 20% of your recommended daily fiber intake. They come six in a box, so just eat five of them to get to 100% of your recommended fiber, and then eat the sixth one because you just… you just deserve it. Fiber One 90 Calorie S’mores Bars are made with wheat flour, and feature milk chocolate chunks (made with cocoa butter and chocolate liquor) and marshmallow flavored chips (made with poop, I’m assuming).
Opening a package of the Fiber One 90 Calorie S’mores Bar, the scent of graham and honey is intense. Chocolate rounds out the aroma; this thing really does smell like s’mores. The first bite isn’t quite as rich as the smell, but the graham is indeed the lead flavor. These bars chew soft and carry plenty of sweetness, but not an obnoxious amount. The flavor is more accurately a blend of a chocolate chip cookie and a s’mores, but the s’mores flavor is more prominent than in, say, the Pepperidge Farm S’mores Cookies. That’s because the graham flavor is prevalent in every single bite. Chocolate, too, though it’s not of premium quality.
While I can totally get down with the Fiber One 90 Calorie S’mores Bar, the marshmallow component never surfaces. I might argue this is a good thing since marshmallows are sometimes poop, but it’s the one missing piece of the s’mores puzzle. The marshmallow flavored chips add some stiff texture that’s welcomed against the chewy soft-baked bar. I actually dissected one bar and pulled out all marshmallow-flavored chips and ate a handful to see if they carried much marshmallow flavor. Not really – just added sweetness.
Overall, the graham and chocolate carry enough of the weight to make Fiber One 90 Calorie S’mores Bar one of the more s’mores-y products released this year. At just 90 calories with the added benefit of fiber, this is a great way to get a s’mores fix when you’re trying to eat sensibly and you need help poopin’. The execution could have been a little better, but I enjoyed these enough to have four of them today (that’s not a joke). D’s Naturals Creamy Chocolate S’mores Fluffbutter is still bae, which is why I did this. Holy cow.
America’s Ability to Poop, Unassisted Rating: 4.5 out of 10
My Ability to Write an Entire Review On the Toilet Rating: 10 out of 10
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10
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