REVIEW: Nabisco Fruity Crisp Oreos
Fruity Pebbles are one of those cereals that improves with milk. Oreos are one of those cookies that improves with milk. By the law of Fat Mathematics or the transitive property or something, Oreos should improve with Fruity Pebbles and vice versa. Tonight we shall find out, thanks to the brand new Nabisco Fruity Crisp Oreos!
A few weeks ago, I risked my life when I revealed Nabisco Fruity Crisp Oreos to the world. You have no idea the disgusting, awful things I would do and have done to be the first on the planet to know the next Oreo flavor. “Wait until my 5 blog followers hear about THIS,” I thought to myself as I sped off from the Nabisco warehouse to make it to the adjacent Taco Bell before they closed.
Imagine my delight when the nondescript box containing the words “NEXT OREO FLAVOR” had Nabisco Fruity Crisp Oreos tucked inside. Let’s just get a few things straight. In the cereal world, Fruity Pebbles are one of the best if you’re forever stuck at the age of five like me. In the Oreo world, Marshmallow Crispy Oreos are the GOAT. Yes, we had marshmallow in play with the latter, but Marshmallow Crispy demonstrated that the rice cereals can make for a damn good Oreo. And everybody but Grandpa knows that Fruity Pebbles are better than Rice Krispies.
Something magical happens when you open a package of Nabisco Fruity Crisp Oreos. I’ve never had a package of Oreos smell so much like something that isn’t Oreos as these do. If you were born without a sense of smell, you would still be able to identify this scent as Fruity Pebbles. It has the exact same vibrant, sherbert-like aroma that its cereal forefathers had. I was completely floored with how well Nabisco nailed it. Imagine that Bamm-Bamm, who has a history of smashing things completely unprovoked, clubs you over the head, buries you in a shallow grave, and covers your entire body in Fruity Pebbles cereal – the way we all want to go.
But let’s assume for argument’s sake that you ate your way out of this Fruity Pebble coffin. What do Nabisco Fruity Crisp Oreos taste like? Let’s start with the creme. It tastes like, wouldn’t you know it, Fruity Pebbles’ milk. And because there are actual fruity rice crisps floating in this magnificent crème, the sensation is akin to the final few spoonfuls of a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. What’s more? This creme is not overly sweet at all. The creamy Oreo filling is remarkably balanced, and the flavorful rice crisps impart even more of the signature fruity tang you associate with Fruity Pebbles. Guys, we are off to an incredible start…
My biggest fear with Nabisco Fruity Pebble Oreos was that they would be too sweet. When I reviewed Marshmallow Crispy Oreos and gave them a 9 out of 10, I found excessive sweetness to be the only blemish holding them back from perfection. The Golden Oreo wafer, sweeter than the cocoa one, often has this effect on limited edition Oreos. With Nabisco Fruity Crisp Oreos, the wafer is an incredible complement to the creme. It’s a match made in Junk Food Heaven. That vaguely vanilla, vaguely shortbread flavor of the Golden Oreo is simply a spectacular backdrop for the intensely flavorful, fruity creme to shine. The crispy cookie isn’t all that far off from the flavor of a rice cereal to begin with. And speaking of which…
Some have said I’m a tough grader with regards to Oreos. But you see, limited edition Oreos embody everything that is central to Junk Banter’s existence. I view them only through the lens of my most expensive microscope…
So what’s stopping Nabisco Fruity Crisp Oreos from being perfect? Nothing.
How Good Oreos Are First Thing In The Morning Rating: 9 out of 10
How Much Bamm-Bamm Needs To Calm The F*ck Down Rating: 8 out of 10
Overall Rating: 10 out of 10
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