The Nobel Peace Prize. The Pulitzer Prize. A Nickelodeon’s Kid Choice Award.

These are some of the greatest honors one could ever achieve, but they all mean shit compared to winning Nestle Toll House’s Cookie of the Year.

Each year, Nestle Toll House picks an arbitrary date in the middle of the year and awards a brand new cookie the revered title of “Cookie of the Year,” well before the year has concluded. We don’t even get a say in the matter, but nobody is exactly complaining. It’s the most delicious autocracy that has ever existed. Last year, the cookie forced upon us was Salted Caramel.

So what’s on deck this year? Ahem… And the 2016 Nestle Toll House Cookie of the Year goes to…

Nestle Toll House Cookie of the Year (Butterfinger Baking Bits)

Nestle Toll House Cookie of the Year Nestle Butterfinger Baking Bits Cookie Dough is the longest title of any product Junk Banter has ever reviewed. I have to hand it to Nestle Toll House for knowing me incredibly well. They already released Nestle Butterfingers Baking Bits that are “great for baking” last year. And I’m sure they are great for baking, but good luck getting me to bake anything. Too much time and effort – time that I would rather pour into my junk food blog that nobody reads. Nestle Toll House Butterfinger Baking Bits cookie dough is of the break-and-bake variety. Breaking stuff is what I do best.

For example, I broke the blog the other day. No joke, it was just a white screen.

Let’s see what we got here while we wait. Nestle Butterfingers Baking Bits include a sugar cookie dough with the aforementioned Butterfingers Baking Bits mixed in. Simple enough. Preheat to 350, break apart a dozen cookies, and bake 10-11 minutes. The package says I COULD win free cookies for a year by entering a code on some website. I would rather them pay me in cash. That way, I could choose which cookies to buy. WHY WON’T THEY LET ME PICK MY COOKIES OR VOTE FOR THE COOKIE OF THE YEAR?

Once out of the oven, I took a bite of Nestle Toll House Cookie of the Year Nestle Butterfinger Baking Bits. My first thought was that it tasted more like a Butterfinger when consumed as raw cookie dough, which I did while ignoring the death warnings on the package. Then I realized that I had burnt the first dozen and had to make the remainder to keep this review fair.

Three beers later, Nestle Toll House Butterfingers Baking Bits were ready for consumption. Much better the second time around. These cookies won’t slap you in the face with their Butterfinger-iness, but that’s by design. The majority of the cookie is similar to a holiday sugar cookie; just dial down the sweetness a tick and add more saltiness. The cookie is plenty buttery with a pleasant sugary grit. Some bites will greet you with a light flavor of roasted peanuts ala Butterfingers with faint traces of cocoa. Something about the entirety of the ingredients reminded me of toffee.

It’s important to remember that these are sugar cookies with Butterfinger Baking Bits, and not Butterfinger-flavored cookies. These are largely enjoyable once you clear that mental hurdle. They’re  tasty cookies with just enough Butterfinger flare. My criticisms are this: the chocolate is represented less than I would have preferred, and nothing feels truly unique. It’s a solid cookie, but worthy of the prestigious Cookie of the Year? I don’t know about that…

In summary, solid cookie must have blown somebody to win this award.

The Feeling of Frustration When Awards Are Rigged Rating: 8 out of 10
How Impossible It Is To Not Consume Raw Cookie Dough Rating: 9 out of 10
Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10

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