REVIEW: Nabisco Fireworks Oreos
Have you ever been eating an Oreo and thought: “Man, this is pretty good, but these cookies are awfully relaxed on my tongue. Why the heck are they just sitting there?”
FINALLY we have some Oreos that dance around with as much excitement as I do whenever a new Oreo is released.
Introducing Fireworks Oreos!
The flavor of summer is violent pyrotechnics, and we’ve got these brand new Fireworks Oreos to celebrate. This is a smart release in advance of the Memorial Day and 4th of July holidays so we can all stuff our faces full of fireworks on the back end of a day-long binge of burgers, dogs, and booze.
But amidst our celebrating, we must also mourn the loss of the delicious S’mores Oreos that have filled this slot the previous two summers. That’s what the booze is for.
Nabisco Fireworks Oreos are explosive because there’s red & blue popping candy in the creme. Think Pop Rocks. The cookies use the chocolate Oreo wafers that are as dark as the night sky – the perfect backdrop for a colorful light show or for eating Oreos in secret shame without being noticed in the corner of the yard. I’ve never been more proud to be an American as I am when I look at these stupid, exploding cookies that will taste exactly like regular Oreos.
And make no mistake, these taste exactly like regular Oreos. The chocolate wafer is the same cocoa-based, slightly bitter but satisfying cookie. The creme is the same sweetened vanilla that makes Oreo a timeless classic.
Look at them go! The popping candy takes off with way more force than I was expecting, crackling & popping & dancing across your mouth just because they can. The popping is especially fierce if you open your mouth with a shit-eating grin on your face like I’m currently doing. It’s a sensation that’s way more fun than it should be if you’re as easily amused as I am.
The candy is straight sugar and doesn’t have a particular flavor that changes things enough to matter. These are literally just regular Oreos that are more EXCITING to eat, especially if you are a kid or have an IQ of 30 like I might. Does this novelty wear off after a while? Sure, but it’s harmless fun that’s perfect for summer celebrations.
The best way I can predict your affinity towards Fireworks Oreos is this: imagine eating a regular Oreo and then being tickled by a friend. If being tickled will make you laugh and make you happier, you will love Fireworks Oreos. If being tickled will make you anxious and cower away like a little bitch, you will probably hate this gimmick.
In summary, these Oreo are a hilarious ticklefest.
A Child’s Rating: 10 out of 10
Katy Perry’s Rating: “Oh, Oh, Oh” out of 10
Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10
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