Late last year, Kellogg’s issued a press release and made a big deal that they were bringing back a popular flavor from its past: Strawberry Milkshake Pop Tarts.
At no point in that press release did they mention the other guy…
Kellogg’s Vanilla Milkshake Pop Tarts
Kellogg’s Frosted Vanilla Milkshake Pop Tarts are back, and apparently not even the people at Kellogg’s give a shit.
Why would Kellogg’s bring back TWO deceased milkshake Pop Tarts, but only mention one of them in their press? It’s simple, really. Fans on social media specifically asked for Strawberry Milkshake Pop Tarts more than any other flavor during the last five years. In stark contrast, nobody asked for Vanilla Milkshake Pop Tarts.
Because they sucked.
Now I can’t speak from experience on this point, but let’s round up some reviews on the Internet:
“These Pop-Tarts have the least amount of flavor of any Pop-Tart I’ve ever tried.” ~ Mr. Breakfast.
“3 out of 10. Kellogg’s is running out of ideas for Pop-Tarts.” ~ The Impulsive Buy.
“The whole thing tasted just like a lot of vanilla. NOT like a milkshake. Very unsatisfying.” ~ Junk Food Guy.
Anyway, who cares. They’re back!
Lol, I find it kind of funny that these Pop Tarts got as much hate as they did. The reviews aren’t wrong: these don’t taste like a vanilla milkshake at all. But if you like straightforward flavors, i.e. you’re the kind of a person who would order a vanilla milkshake over one of those freak milkshakes that I would definitely order, than these are the Pop Tarts for you.
They taste like frosting inside some dough, and that’s fine.
The main reason these will score poorly (which they will) is because they’re simply not as good as their most similar comps. For example, the Dunkin Donuts Vanilla Latte Pop Tarts had a more distinct vanilla flavor than these. The Frosted Sugar Cookie Pop Tarts nailed the nuances of their cookie, while these don’t hit any milkshake notes at all. Hell, even the discontinued Confetti Cupcake Pop Tarts had a stronger vanilla flavor, as my memory recalls (RIP).
The box provides traditional directions to toast, but also encourages chilling in the freezer as an alternative preparation. Toasting didn’t increase the milkshake vibe any (because you should not – no, CANNOT toast milkshakes) but the warmed, toasted dough definitely tasted better. It at least provided greater contrast against an otherwise one-dimensional filling.
Freezing them only brought the chilling sensation of ice cream and not its flavor. Again, the ice cream comparison is a poor one. The primary appeal here is just a plain vanilla flavor, which isn’t offered elsewhere in Kellogg’s Pop Tart catalog believe it or not.
Frosted Vanilla Milkshake Pop Tarts don’t taste like a milkshake, and ironically I enjoyed them warm the most…
But they are BACK, baby!
How Much They’re Back Rating: 10 out of 10
How Much You Should Put Them Back Rating: 8 out of 10
Overall Rating: 5.5 out of 10
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