God, my favorite cereal is old cereal.

Kellogg’s Pop Tarts Cereal

You know all those Buzzfeed-type articles sporting a list of discontinued cereals we want back? They’ll all soon be obsolete, as we check another one off the list with the return of Kellogg’s Pop Tarts Cereal.

In the last several years, we’ve seen the return of cult favorites like French Toast Crunch, Kellogg’s Smorz Cereal, and Oreo O’s, but this time we’re kicking it all the way back to 1994 and Pop Tarts Crunch Cereal.

Dialing back the time machine, notable things that occurred in ’94 include:

• The Lion King was released.
• The Sony Playstation launched.
• “Friends” debuted.
• “The Sign” by Ace of Base topped the charts.
•  Justin Bieber was born.

The discontinuation of Pop Tarts Crunch Cereal, and perhaps that last note about Justin Bieber, elicited the following response, best summarized by another event that occurred in 1994:

While it’s lost the “Crunch” in title but not in substance, both flavors (Frosted Strawberry and Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon) return.

Kellogg’s Frosted Strawberry Pop Tarts Cereal

Kellogg’s Frosted Strawberry Pop Tarts Cereal features puffed wheat, oat, and rice pieces with strawberry filling inside and frosting and multi-colored sprinkles on the outside. Think Kellogg’s Krave, but healthier because there’s fruit, but unhealthier because they’re frosted.

My stars, these are delicious. Each mini Pop-Tart is wonderfully sweet even before you get to the filling. The jam inside is made with strawberry puree concentrate and dried apples just like the original, so a comparison to the pastry version rings true. There’s enough filling so that each bite takes on the signature strawberry flavor, and they’re incredibly difficult to stop biting.

The cereal shell doesn’t replicate the dough-y flavor of a Pop Tart, but you’d be a fool to expect that kind of magic.

It broke my heart there for a minute.

Kellogg’s Frosted Strawberry Pop Tarts cereals is one of those rare cereals that tastes about the same in milk. The strawberry filling is uncompromised and anchors the most notable element of the flavor, and the crunch holds up long enough to finish a bowl.

Man, where has this BEEN for the last 25 years? Shit’s outstanding.

Rating: 9 out of 10

Kellogg’s Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts Cereal

Kellogg’s Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts is less desirable to look at, but at least it has frosting and tiny brown sprinkles.

The cereal is good for sure, but not as good or unique as Frosted Strawberry. The filling is made with real brown sugar and cinnamon, but just doesn’t hit the same note as the Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tart.

However, these criticisms don’t negate the fact that this cereal is TASTE-Y, nor the fact that I ate six handfuls before I put a close on this sentence.

Admirable hold-up in milk too. But it also highlights that the filling isn’t as masterful as the strawberry.

Had Brown Sugar Cinnamon been the only flavor released, I would have celebrated its novelty more and had higher praise.

Rating: 7 out of 10

Kellogg’s Frosted Cookies & Creme Pop Tarts Cereal

Kellogg’s Frosted Cookies & Creme Pop Tart is made with cocoa in the flour-based cereal pieces themselves and then what they’re calling a white chocolate flavored filling, and some kind of sugary coating with little fake chocolate chips studded on the surface.

This is going to be one of those cereals that tastes fine, but tastes very similar to lots of other chocolate-based cereals on the market.

It also reminds me a little bit of Cookie Crisp, which isn’t quite what they were going for.

The chocolatey vibes are mostly tasty, and I think it improves in milk.

But again, this is a cereal that is overshadowed and mercilessly beat down by competitors like Oreo O’s and General Mills Hershey’s Cookies ‘N’ Creme Fillows. It’s also probably the furthest away from the Pop Tart it purports to be.

Rating: 6 out of 10

Summary

Kellogg’s Pop Tarts Cereal is a nice blast from the past, and the format and configuration is pretty effective as a breakfast cereal alternative to the pasty. However, these particular flavors are hit or miss and at this point in time I’d really go with seconds on the Strawberry.

The real question remains, though:

Who do we have to sleep with for a Frosted S’mores Pop Tart Cereal?

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