Can’t wait to see what my loyal army of Suzy Q psychopaths has to say about this…

This one requires a bit of explanation, and I’m absolutely delighted to share it with you tonight…

Back on April the 26th two whole years ago, I published a review of Hostess Suzy Q’s. They had just returned from an extended hiatus of being dead, but this was my first crack at them.  They sucked, and I moved on with my life…

To date, it is my most commented on junk food article in the history of Junk Banter.

Now, these aren’t just my normal comments like “Great review!” or “Get a life!” or “I clicked on the wrong article.” These are from people ENRAGED that their dearly beloved Hostess Suzy Q’s are not, in fact, back… because the new ones pale in comparison to what they enjoyed as children.

What follows is a glimpse into the minds of the most fierce community I’ve ever encountered… the Hostess Suzy Q community.

Yeah, HOW DARE YOU?!

Way to go, morons!

Maybe, don’t chew sponges…

Somebody please help Amber find her way…

#NotMySuzyQ

Lol @ me. 

Savage AND racist! 

Ashamed of themselves!

Hayley asking the real questions though…

I… wow. A shitty adventure indeed. 

These comments still roll in to this day, and occur without any noticeable increase in blog traffic. That means  a small minority of highly passionate, deeply affected people come to this website SPECIFICALLY to blow a gasket. Do you know how many times I’ve reached for my phone in the morning, excited by a Facebook notification I assumed was a friend writing on my Timeline, but instead was just another lunatic attacking Hostess Suzy Q’s? Some of them attacked ME, thinking I created the damn thing, but they didn’t stop at me – no no, they threw shade at Hostess, Lil’ Debbie, Walmart, and the entire countries of China and North Korea.

I just feel like the people who were around for the original Suzy Q shouldn’t be this THIS adept at navigating to the Facebook Comments section of a junk food snack blog. What is happening?

The new and improved Hostess Suzy Q – which they’re probably gonna hate no matter what – is quick to point out that it’s “now even better tasting!” This is basically Hostess admitting that they sucked.

It advertises 50% more cake and 50% more creme, which is a longer way of saying that it’s 50% bigger.

And I gotta tell you guys… if this is anything like the old recipe, I can see what those maniacs were so upset about.

The new (possibly old) Suzy Q’s are really quite good. The formula is a simple one: two chocolate cakes sandwiching lots of cream filling. But having 50% more creme does a lot more than the numbers might suggest. The very first ingredient in this recipe is sugar, which means this thing is loaded with sweetness. It’s  a satisfying sweetness rather than cloying, as it contrasts well against the rich cocoa cake. There’s a definite Devil’s food vibe to the cake, with a strong chocolate flavor and an impressively light & airy texture.

Imagine a Devil Dog or Chocolate Cake Twinkie that wasn’t dry, with A LOT more creme.

I must hand it to you guys. Your relentless, petulant cries were heard not only by me, but by Hostess too. You finally got what you wanted and I finally got to enjoy a GOOD Suzy Q.

You’re all f*cking insane, but I appreciate you.

And as for Hostess… U SHOULD BE ASHAMED FOR WHAT U DID TO US!!

Reuniting With an Old Friend Rating: 9 out of 10
Becoming Murderous Over Cake Rating: 4 out of 10
Overall Rating: 8 out of 10

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