Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is back for the holidays! Please find our review below:
Thank you sweet Sugar Cookie Jesus, it’s a Christmas cereal miracle!!!
Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is FINALLY resurrected!
A Christmas Tale, by Junk Banter:
The year was 2014. My roommate was obsessed with all things Christmas, and her and I discovered Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch on the most glorious Target run of our lives.
We were so excited that we rushed to buy a Christmas tree, decorated it like there would be no other Christmases, and rewarded ourselves with gigantic bowls of Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch for our labor.
We were in love – not with each other, but with Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch.
It was one of my greatest Christmas memories of all-time.
Fast forward to 2015 – the year Junk Banter was born.
Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch would return!
I couldn’t contain my excitement and awarded the cereal the highest score this blog has ever seen: 100 out of 10, which feels low as I type it out just now.
Some quotes from my review:
Say “Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch” aloud. Your ears become heavy-duty magnets that stretch your lips into the biggest shit-eating grin you could ever imagine.
The enthusiasm I have for this cereal rivals that which I had in 1996 when I got a Nintendo 64 for Christmas. If Nintendo would release a Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch video game where all you did was eat Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch to rack up points, I would never leave my house again.
If you like smiling, happy stuff, and pure bliss, you need to pick up Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch and experience it for yourself. Or better yet, don’t; I want to buy all the boxes on the planet and hoard them for myself.
True love is a background on your phone:
Having a T-shirt made in your likeness:
It was an otherwise brutal winter, but not with Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch by my side:
I ate so much Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch that one day I woke up like this:
Needless to say, I enjoyed the cereal very much:
Tragedy would strike in 2016.
General Mills effectively canceled Christmas and discontinued Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch, replacing it with stupid Cinnamon Star Crunch. I gave it a 0 out of 10 out of principle, and began lobbying for my favorite cereal’s return.
With a music video:
2017 brought nothing.
No Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch, no Cinnamon Star Crunch… nothing.
I tormented General Mills on Twitter at every opportunity:
@GeneralMills It’s about that time for me to start pestering you… ?????? pic.twitter.com/Zo0Tzh5ASu
— Junk Banter (@JunkBanter) September 27, 2017
???????
— Junk Banter (@JunkBanter) September 27, 2017
Terrible Toast Crunch.
— Junk Banter (@JunkBanter) September 27, 2017
Dear Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch Monsters, we miss you. Love, Everyone.
— Junk Banter (@JunkBanter) October 20, 2017
It better end up at the North Pole and bring back Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch with it… that’s all I’m saying. https://t.co/QWN14anesc
— Junk Banter (@JunkBanter) July 5, 2018
I assembled an Army of sugar cookie activists to rally and cry beside me.
And to General Mills’ credit: they listened!
The return of Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is living proof that if you Tweet a company incessantly, you can eventually get whatever you want.
And this is all I’ve ever wanted. ❤
If this is your first time trying Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch, be patient with your first bite. There will be a fleeting moment where your brain expects Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and the cereal may fall flat. But then Santa Claus sneaks up behind you and gives you the warmest, jolliest Christmas bear hug as the sugar cookie goodness settles in, and all is right in the world forever.
To review its taste alone doesn’t do it justice, because Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is a feeling. It tastes like a hand-written Christmas card from your grade school crush. It tastes like the moment the voice recording changes letting you know that school is cancelled for a snow day! It tastes like the delight you feel when you accidentally stumble upon NBC’s airing of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with your significant other, which for me also happens to be Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch.
It also tastes like sugar, cookies, and everything that dreams are made of.
I wasn’t prepared for this.
I didn’t think this day would ever come.
A huge thank you to the Sugar Cookie Army for making my dream a reality.
Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is back, and it is 10x better than I ever remembered.
The Sugar Cookie Army Rating: 10 out of 10
Smiling Until Your Face Explodes Rating: 10 out of 10
Overall Rating: 1,000 out of 10
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This is one of the most beautiful fairytales I have ever read–love, loss, the agony of forlonging, then reuniting and ever-lasting love. Thank you for sharing–with the bonus of pictures/illustrations too. I will read this before going to bed for sweet dreams.
Bless your sweet sugar cookie heart.
Way to work in the superfluous body shot. See what you did there. Glad your dreams came true.
There’s not many pictures that exist on this planet of a man with his favorite cereal box jammed in his pants. It needed to be shared.
This cereal is amazing! Just bought 3 boxes at Walmart. It tastes like vanilla cupcake frosting or like the Oreo cream filling. It’s pure sugar and I love every handful! Now, what can you do to get Quisp back on the shelves?
Quisp is back on the shelves!! Or has been recently in select stores, unless it was limited time only.
Where?! In what states or stores, please?
I don’t know specifically! Just know that I’ve seen it before over the last few years – not sure when the most recently. See the cereal here: https://www.quakeroats.com/products/cold-cereals/quisp.aspx. You may be able to buy online if they still make it. Contact Quaker using the links on their page.
Will do. Thanks so much 🙂
Can we please take this moment to acknowledge that the flavor that dominates Christmastime seasonal snacks—peppermint/choco-peppermint—is vastly inferior both to gingerbread and, more importantly, to sugar cookie? Down with mint hegemony; roll on, sugar and sprinkles.
All I want for Christmas is to curl up in front of a movie marathon with a bowl of Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch on one side of me and Blue Bunny Holi-Doodle ice cream on the other. What’s a little bit of listeria, eh? Do the right thing, Blue Bunny.
Oh my stars I am so glad I bought a box when I saw it! Can’t wait to dig in
I classless have a bias towards this magical cereal, but I hope you enjoy it half as much as I do! (At least a 500 out of 10.)