Battle is the most magnificent competition in which a human being can indulge. It brings out all that is best; it removes all that is base. ~ George S. Patton

Kellogg’s Honey Nut Frosted Flakes

Folks, we are in the midst of one of the greatest junk food wars of all-time, or maybe I just made it up.

You see what happened was, last year General Mills made Lucky Charms Frosted Flakes. Lucky Charms is an original General Mills creation, but Frosted Flakes? Those belong to Kellogg’s.

General Mills was able to do this because “Frosted Flakes” is too generic a term to be trademarked (Kellogg’s was only able to nab Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes™ ). If you’re one to give General Mills the benefit of the doubt, they originally chose the exact same shade of blue and a damn similar white typeface that Kellogg’s uses for the box, which they changed soon after, possibly to avoid (or in response to) the threat of any potential litigation.

It was an attempted murder of Tony the Tiger, and you can’t convince me it wasn’t a giant  ? aimed squarely in Kellogg’s direction.

Kellogg’s is firing back by flavoring their Frosted Flakes after Honey Nut Cheerios, which was the best-selling cereal in America for eight straight years before being bested recently by regular Cheerios, which suck.

I plan to eat my way out of danger, which is my usual response to any conflict of any kind.

Kellogg’s Honey Nut Frosted Flakes are made with sweet honey nut frosting and crunchy wholesome corn. It’s made with real honey, but no nuts.

Considering that General Mills completely EVISCERATED Tony with the Lucky Charms Frosted Flakes, Kellogg’s punch back doesn’t have much force behind it.

Eaten dry, the flavor is pretty subtle per my expectations. It’s an objectively good-tasting cereal that doesn’t have the deep “honey nut” flavor that characterizes Honey Nut Cheerios. I’m able to taste some of it, but it’s more accurately a less-sweet Frosted Flakes or a more-sweet Honey Bunches of Oats (apparently Kellogg’s is spraying it everywhere and bringing Post into this mess).

Like all Frosted Flakes, I preferred Honey Nut Frosted Flakes in milk over dry. I got a few more bursts of that honey nut flavor (still wanting a bit more), and the satisfying soft crunch that typifies Frosted Flakes. Just don’t let them bathe in milk too long or they eventually start to taste like Corn Flakes.

Sorry, Kellogg’s, but turns out this war is a one-sided massacre. If you really want to drop a bombshell, maybe hit ’em with some Chocolate Peanut Butter Frosted Flakes next time.

Or maybe you just wanted to create a new flavor of Frosted Flakes. Whatever.

Burning Questions:

1. Do you really think this is serious beef? I think a lot of things.
2. What would be your dream mash-up?  Lucky Charms Pop Tarts.
3. Do you ever dream of anything but food? I dreamt I had friends, once.

Place of Purchase: Sent to me by Kellogg’s (thanks guys!)

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

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