Ah, lazy breakfasts. The best kinds of meals are the ones that still taste good without having to do work and clean up and stuff.
Perhaps the laziest breakfast is toast. If you can’t put two pieces of bread in the toaster and wait a couple of minutes, you don’t even deserve to eat. Another lazy one is cereal. Cereal ranks slightly behind toast on the laziness scale because you have to rotate your wrist twice to prepare it – once for the cereal and once for the milk. The only time it requires actual effort is when you spill the milk, at which point you don’t deserve to eat again. (Note to our readers: I spilled milk on my Macbook Air and broke it when I reviewed Kellogg’s Smorz Cereal).
General Mills is offering us the truest union between the two laziest breakfasts with their first new cereal brand in 15 years: General Mills Strawberry Tiny Toast and General Mills Blueberry Tiny Toast!
But wait, 15 years? I know it doesn’t sound for real-sies, but it’s true. General Mills has been cornering the Toast cereal market for a while but only with line extensions of Cinnamon Toast Crunch: French Toast Crunch is back, Chocolate Toast Crunch is great, Peanut Butter Toast Crunch was good but discontinued anyway, and Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch warms our hearts every winter. But what do all these cereals have in common? They’re all way too f*cking big (apparently), and none of them featured fruit like the jams and jellies we normally apply to toast. Strawberry Tiny Toast and Blueberry Tiny Toast are General Mills’ solution to this highly important non-problem.
Both Strawberry Tiny Toast and Blueberry Tiny Toast are mini sweetened toast-shaped cereal that are so cute it hurts. They look like tiny pieces of bread that went through the world’s tiniest toaster oven. They’re both made with whole grain oats, whole grain corn, and rice flour. The attention to detail is superb, and each piece is speckled with a healthy dosage of dried fruit flecks and an unhealthy dosage of white sugar crystals. Eaten dry, the texture on both is a strong suit. The bread pieces are thick and crispy on the outside but chew airy and flaky on the inside, just like a piece of Texas Toast.
The flavor of General Mills Strawberry Tiny Toast is better-than-average from the strawberry side, and about what you would expect from the cereal side. The flavor is jammy and sweet as soon as it hits your tongue. The strawberry flavor is a step behind Strawberry Cheerios on the authenticity scale, but it deserves praise. It’s flavored with dried strawberry puree and no artificial flavors, and both of those facts are obvious on each bite. The sugar crystals enhance the sweetness quite a bit, but the tartness from the strawberry puree remains prominent in the aftertaste. The whole grain cereal flavor is pretty generic and nothing revolutionary for a new cereal brand. The oat flavor lacks a distinctive flavor like Cheerios possess, which is exactly why I prefer Strawberry Cheerios to these.
The application of milk is where General Mills Strawberry Tiny Toast suffers the most. The large amount of sugar crystals wash away quickly. Some of the strawberry flavor remains, but it’s nowhere near as vivacious. The cereal pieces soften admirably but retain more crunch than most cereals. They just taste a lot more bland… a lot more boring. Pretty fitting for toast, actually. Still a fine cereal.
The Ceiling for Excitement on Toast Rating: 6.5 out of 10
The Ceiling for Excitement on Sugary Cereals Rating: 10 out of 10!
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10
Much of what I said for Strawberry Tiny Toast applies to General Mills Blueberry Tiny Toast, so let’s just focus on the differences. My first observation was that Blueberry Tiny Toast is less sweet. Fans of super sweet cereal are better off sticking with the strawberry version, but pause and think for a moment. Blueberries are far less sweet than strawberries, so this is appropriate. Truth is, Blueberry Tiny Toast tastes incredibly genuine. While it may be more subtle, the blueberry flavor is fresh, semi-sweet, and just a little sour at the end.
General Mills Blueberry Tiny Toast shares some of the same “Oops I broke it” problem in milk, but to a lesser degree in my opinion. The flavor of the oat and corn pieces emerges to the forefront just like with strawberry, but I felt that the milk added a Tiny bit (DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?) of the missing sweetness from the blueberry powder here. While milk subdued the blueberry flavor, it changed its profile ever-so-slightly in a way that I thought paired more naturally with the miniature pieces of toast. And you know what? I like General Mills Blueberry Tiny Toast more than I do Strawberry Tiny Toast. There aren’t as many blueberry cereals competing with this one, and Tiny Toast is by far the cutest. The novelty here is certainly present, and I plan to repurchase this.
Odds You Saw What I Did There Rating: 9.5 out of 10
Odds You Found It Amusing Rating: 0.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 8 out of 10
There was only one thing left to do, or three things in my case. With General Mills Tiny Toast, the resemblance to bread is so uncanny that I needed to see how they fared when used in exactly the same manner as bread:
In summary, General Mills Tiny Toast is named appropriately.
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Review: General Mills Strawberry Tiny Toast and Blueberry Tiny Toast (via Cerealously)
[Review] General Mills Strawberry Tiny Toast Cereal (via Snack Cellar)
[Review] General Mills Blueberry Tiny Toast Cereal (via Snack Cellar)