REVIEW: Nabisco Red Velvet Chips Ahoy! Cookies
This might be the first red velvet review ever published in June, but when Nabisco releases Chips Ahoy cookies stuffed with red velvet cake, you act fast.
Yes ok, I know, I get it… Red velvet cake is not exactly a seasonal flavor. From that standpoint, there is nothing wrong with Nabisco Red Velvet Chips Ahoy! Cookies destroying our diets just in time for summer. But in Junk Food Land, there are certain rules that one should abide by. Sugar cookies should only be consumed in December. Pumpkin spices must arrive in the middle of the summer and consume exactly 100% of shelf space until Halloween. Red velvet? It’s best reserved for Valentine’s Day, or at least the cold months leading up to Valentine’s Day where everyone stays inside all winter and just has sex with each other. This is because red velvet is a seductive, smoking hot flavor no matter how you look at it. And these Red Velvet Chips! Ahoy Cookies are practically begging for it.
Nabisco Red Velvet! Chips Ahoy! are red soft-baked cookies with a white icing in the center and cream cheese flavored chips throughout. Because the Nabisco S’mores Chips Ahoy! cookies had flaws in the dough itself, I started by isolating the red dough to see how it fared.
Nabisco did a better job with these cookies. Far better. The red dough has the bitter cocoa of a red velvet cake fairly on point. The cookie is a little saltier and tastes a little more floury than other Chips Ahoy! cookies, which goes a long way for drawing the bridge from cookie to cake. Some might argue they’d like more sweetness from this cookie, but I think it’s a great base for cake frosting or whatever the hell it is they stuffed these with.
So what the hell did they stuff these with? Nabisco Red Velvet Chips Ahoy! cookies contain a white creme in the center, but the package doesn’t specify what they taste like. Forget the cream cheese flavored chips for the remainder of this review. You can’t taste them so they’re irrelevant. The filling inside is far better. You know how I said the red doughy pieces of cookie were missing some sweetness? Problem solved with this creamy white filling. It’s very sweet but very tasty, and the million dollar question for all red velvet products becomes: “Is there any tang?” The answer is yes. The back-end tang (Good God…) makes these not purely a gimmick, but a pretty solid representation of a red velvet cake. Far from perfect, but better than many.
So, my verdict is that Red Velvet Chips Ahoy! is the superior entry to the line when compared to the S’mores Chips Ahoy! But if it weren’t for a simultaneous release, we wouldn’t be comparing red velvet to s’mores. We would be comparing red velvet to red velvet.
This is a tight battle. I like both of these products in different ways. I think the cream cheese filling in the Red Velvet Oreo (review here) is more polished. It’s sugary like buttercream frosting but tangy like cream cheese frosting. Tangier than the Chips Ahoy! version for sure. However you take your red velvet cake, the crunchy Oreo captures it well.
But that signature crunch could be off-putting if we’re talking red velvet in its truest form. The Red Velvet Chips Ahoy! is fun because there is a ton of frosting-like filling up against a floury, chocolatey cookie, and the way it chews parallels cake far more. The filling is also softer, so it all melts in your mouth easier. Ya’ll know I’m partial to Oreos, but I think they score equally on execution for what they are.
In summary, these cookies are totally begging for it.
How Much These Cookies Are Begging For It Rating: 9 out of 10
How Much My Heart Is Begging Me To Stop Eating Cookies Rating: 8 out of 10
Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10
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