Did you know that the Italian word “tiramisu” can be translated to “pick me up”?

As in:

It’s going to be difficult to tiramisu off the floor after I’m through with these Oreos.

TALK ABOUT A REACH.

It can also translate to “pull it up” and is a sexy dessert born from orgies in Italian brothels, but who’s keeping track?

The point is, tiramisu rules, and Tiramisu Oreos are Nabisco’s latest limited edition creation.

Actually I’m not done with this brothel thing yet. Here’s an actual, insane quote from the above article:

[Tiramisu] was served to reinvigorate exhausted clients inside so-called “casino” (closed whorehouses) non-stop: Before, during and after heavy and multiple sex sessions […] The more tiramisu swallowed, the more flourishing the prostitution business was.

WHAT on EARTH am I doing living in America when I could be living in Italy where everyone just eats tiramisu and f*cks all day?

ANYWAY, these Tiramisu Oreos are made with chocolate wafers and two cremes that combine together to form tiramisu. The package doesn’t say if the two differently-colored cremes are separate flavors, but given a tiramisu recipe, they could be flavored like sponge biscuits (ladyfingers), coffee, mascarpone cheese, or just both “tiramisu”in total.

…Hey, did you know that in the Italian town of Treviso, the whores helped make the tiramisu?

Prostitutes and clients had lunch together, chatted and got aroused in anticipation looking forward to the end of the meal when tiramisu was finally served. Each was proud of their input.

Welp I’m headin’ to the orgy flaccid as a soaked ladyfinger, because these Oreos do absolutely nothing for me.

To me the creme is lightly coffee-flavored, and that’s about it. Tiramisu Oreos just remind me of a fatter version of the Latte Oreo Thins, which are still available year-round, or a sweeter version of the Dunkin’ Donuts Mocha Oreos, which are no longer available. These would rate better if they didn’t feel so familiar.

My issue is that a tiramisu isn’t this heavy on the chocolate component. The cocoa cookie wafer here plays too large a factor in the final outcome, and I just can’t appreciate any slight nuances this creme may have over other coffee-type Oreos because of how distinctive and strongly flavored the wafer is.

Bummer, but at least I learned where my next vacation stop is going to be.

Burning Questions

1. Who knew tiramisu was so sexy? The whores.
2. Why is so much of this review about sex? Because I’m running out of things to say about Oreos…
3. But you don’t know anything about sex. Touche.

Place of Purchase: Walmart

Rating: 6 out of 10

Click Here to See Where Tiramisu Oreos Ranked in Our Review and Rankings Of Over 100 Oreos Flavors! 

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