Don’t strawberries, like, already make you poop and shit?
Fiber One 90 Calorie Strawberries & Cream Bars
Look, I’m not gonna pretend to know which fruits are high in fiber, or how fiber works, period. But if Fiber One has taught me anything, it’s that eating cookies, brownies, and coffee cakes will make me shit my brains out.
The newest laxative they offer are these limited edition Fiber One Strawberries & Cream Bars, which come in a toilet-sized value pack at Walmart.
They’re conveniently located in the aisle next to the toilet paper.
By now you know the drill with these: soft-baked, 90-calorie bars with flavored chips and drizzle. Let’s hope they’re the only drizzle we see tonight…
Do me a solid, Fiber One.
Fiber One has had much, much success with the limited edition bars in the past. For example, the Birthday Cake Fiber One Bars are one of my favorite products of the past year, even if they induced confetti diarrhea.
However, these bars are a blemish on their track record. A poop stain, if you will.
Just not very good. There’s something odd about these Fiber One 90 Calorie Strawberries & Cream Bars – like a waxy or chalky flavor – throughout the entire bar.
The flavor is weak and they are mostly bland and a little dry too. The strawberry flavored chips aren’t a great strawberry flavor, and there are nowhere near as many as the image on the package suggests. Just a few here and there.
Compare these to something like the phenomenal Pumpkin Spice or Gingerbread Fiber One Bars – which carry most of their flavor in the bar itself – and these are a flat out disappointment.
I guess it’s back to my normal methods of inducing poo: eating like an idiot until it happens naturally.
Burning Questions:
- Which of these bars has been your favorite? Gingerbread.
- What about from the regular offerings? Cinnamon Coffee Cake.
- How many times do you poop a day? Exactly 40 times.
Place of Purchase: Walmart
Rating: 4.5 out of 10
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I have very little interest in this product, but I read the review because you consistently make me rofl. Thank you for your time and talent! You deserve a pulitzer in bathroom humor.
Thanks so much Nick! This is ultimately my goal with every review. Not to make poop jokes necessarily, but to provide some entertainment. Thanks for reading on a regular basis!