Three simple ingredients: chocolate, marshmallow, and graham crackers. That’s it. That’s all it takes to make an entire country lose its shit. “S’mores this! S’mores that! We love s’mores!,” said everyone ever.

But this same country also values a few other things. The first is not having to do any work for themselves, which is why nobody actually makes s’mores. The second is pure greed. A great product is never good enough. They will always try to make it better, or they will shoot themselves in the foot trying. For example, you might have noticed that the classic s’mores recipe is completely bereft of any cookies. Their addition could be good, but it sounds like an awful lot of work…

Thankfully, Nabisco has us covered with their new S’mores Chips Ahoy! cookies:

Nabisco S'mores Chips Ahoy

Nabisco S’mores Chips Ahoy

Welcome to America, where a dessert isn’t complete until it’s actually two desserts. Nabisco S’mores Chips Ahoy! cookies are the latest and hopefully greatest example of the company’s current obsession with cramming desserts like brownies, birthday cakes, and Oreos into the center of their soft chocolate chip cookies. Though these were released at the crest of the tidal wave of s’mores summer seasonals, Nabisco S’mores Chips Ahoy! cookies will actually be a permanent offering alongside the new Nabisco Red Velvet Chips Ahoy! Cookies.

Fat Person Sidebar: Can somebody please figure out a way to make red velvet s’mores?

Nabisco S'mores Chips Ahoy

Nabisco S’mores Chips Ahoy! Cookies feature a chocolate flavored filling, marshmallow flavored chips, and choco chips. Let the debate commence on whether or not they should have used a marshmallow center instead of chocolate. And where the hell is my graham? Let’s hope Nabisco at least attempted to infuse the flavor of graham crackers into the dough or you might find me on the 6:00 news for pelting chocolate chip cookies at some big shot cookie executives.

Nabisco S'mores Chips Ahoy

The good news is that they tried to capture graham; the bad news is that they missed. Nabisco S’mores Chips Ahoy! don’t really taste all that much like s’mores or chocolate chip cookies, and the middle ground they landed on isn’t a great hybrid. The glaring knock against them for me is how they sought to achieve graham cracker: cinnamon. You can taste it predominantly in the doughy exterior, and it kills a lot of the sweetness expected from a chocolate chip cookie recipe.

The chocolate filling in the center of the Nabisco S’mores Chips Ahoy! cookie is soft and plentiful, but still brings less cocoa flavor to the s’mores experience than one would hope for. Again, it’s not a refined enough chocolate to overcome the shortcomings of the base cookie. Cinnamon is a bold spice, and I just find it inharmonious with the rest of the cookie. The chocolate chips offer next-to-nothing at best, and I forgot the marshmallow chips were even here until just now.

None too impressed, I recalled that heating the fantastic Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy! in the microwave induced several orgasms that still haven’t finished. The S’mores Chips Ahoy! packaging includes the same “Heat for a Treat” recommendation as the Hot Cocoa ones. Would it help any?

Nabisco S'mores Chips Ahoy

Eh. The 9-10 second recommendation left the outside warm but the inside cold. I heated for a few more seconds and all it really did was offer the dough a slightly toasted flavor. The chocolate got meltier the more I heated it up, but the same issues remained.

In summary, stick with the S’mores Oreos until they’re gone. And then cry once they are.

Odds That Marshmallow Filling Would Have Helped Rating: 7 out of 10
Odds That Red Velvet S’mores Already Exists Rating
: 10 out of 10
Overall Rating: 6 out of 10

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5 Responses

  1. Jessica says:

    Red velvet s’mores? Take a red velvet oreo, separate and stick a melted marshmallow in the center. #donethatalready

  2. Junk Male says:

    I respect that you’ve done it already just because, but I’m afraid we can do better than that! The recipe I linked to in the ratings looks amazing.

  3. Nate says:

    Speaking of the superior S’moreo, I think the weakest part of the Oreo S’mores experience is the cookie itself. The cookie used for the cinnamon roll Oreo tastes almost exactly like a cinnamon sugar Teddy Graham, and the combination would be wonderful. The effort required to make such a hybrid, however, may be better spent making actual S’mores.

    Keep up the good work.

  4. Junk Male says:

    What a well thought to comment, Nate. I agree that the cookie is the weakest part. The graham cookie isn’t grahamy, and it works better with other cookies (like the Key Lime Pie). I’m surprised we haven’t seen the cinnamon cookie used in any other Oreo yet.

    Thanks for the feedback!

  5. Marc P says:

    Red Velvet Smores Idea = Genius